Raiks
Enigma Unlimited
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2003
- Messages
- 2,109
- Gender
- Male
- HSC
- 2002
Most of us know well the feeling when the love story of your life/decade/year/month/week/day/hazy time between 2-5am on a saturday morning falls to pieces and you declare 'I'm never doing that or going there again'. I was in that place this morning so I made a list of previous experiences and what i've vowed to avoid because of it:
* Avoid any girl who tells me she hates her ex-boyfriend. She hates herself.
* Avoid any girl who doesn't drink. Do I need to say anything else here?
* Avoid any girl who won't drunkenly make out with me in a taxi. She lacks a properly functioning sexual instinct.
* Avoid any girl who won't wear a skirt. I'll end up in the stairwell of a Christmas party making out with a girl in skirt.
* Avoid any girl who I think looks even hotter when she is miserable. She will destroy me.
* Avoid any girl who cries when she's drunk. Her self-pity will destroy me.
* Avoid any girl I've dated before. If the first time is tragedy, the second time will just be worse.
* Avoid any girl who I never found attractive before but suddenly looks hot. I'm drunk.
* Avoid any girl in a poncho. She's a slave to fashion and will try to make me use expensive hair-products.
* Avoid any girl I meet at an office party. She is my coworker's wife and wants to hurt him.
* Avoid any girl who knows the names of all the bartenders in more than four of my favourite bars. She's out of my league.
* Avoid any girl who is my favorite bartender. Where am I going to drink when I want to forget her?
* Avoid any girl who tells me that I am emotionally unavailable. She knows me all too well.
* Avoid any girl who tells me she thinks she feels a spark between the two of us. Her mind is trapped in a Sweet Valley High novel.
* Avoid any girl who wears jewelery given to her by her ex-boyfriend on our first date. She is still in love with him, and only him.
* Avoid any girl on anti-psychotics. She'll go off her meds one day, handcuff me to the bed and rip skin from my back requiring stitches.
But even after vowing all of the above I still find myself chasing girls which everyone including myself, knows will end in disaster somehow.... at least my friends find it halarious.
So what have you vowed to avoid from past experience?
* Avoid any girl who tells me she hates her ex-boyfriend. She hates herself.
* Avoid any girl who doesn't drink. Do I need to say anything else here?
* Avoid any girl who won't drunkenly make out with me in a taxi. She lacks a properly functioning sexual instinct.
* Avoid any girl who won't wear a skirt. I'll end up in the stairwell of a Christmas party making out with a girl in skirt.
* Avoid any girl who I think looks even hotter when she is miserable. She will destroy me.
* Avoid any girl who cries when she's drunk. Her self-pity will destroy me.
* Avoid any girl I've dated before. If the first time is tragedy, the second time will just be worse.
* Avoid any girl who I never found attractive before but suddenly looks hot. I'm drunk.
* Avoid any girl in a poncho. She's a slave to fashion and will try to make me use expensive hair-products.
* Avoid any girl I meet at an office party. She is my coworker's wife and wants to hurt him.
* Avoid any girl who knows the names of all the bartenders in more than four of my favourite bars. She's out of my league.
* Avoid any girl who is my favorite bartender. Where am I going to drink when I want to forget her?
* Avoid any girl who tells me that I am emotionally unavailable. She knows me all too well.
* Avoid any girl who tells me she thinks she feels a spark between the two of us. Her mind is trapped in a Sweet Valley High novel.
* Avoid any girl who wears jewelery given to her by her ex-boyfriend on our first date. She is still in love with him, and only him.
* Avoid any girl on anti-psychotics. She'll go off her meds one day, handcuff me to the bed and rip skin from my back requiring stitches.
But even after vowing all of the above I still find myself chasing girls which everyone including myself, knows will end in disaster somehow.... at least my friends find it halarious.
So what have you vowed to avoid from past experience?