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This is a note I made in my 11th diary about a realisation I had. For those of you who don’t know me, I’ll give a little context about who I was, who I am, and who I want to become.
For over 5 years, I have been depressed and lost, searching for a meaning in life.
I found my meaning, and that’s to become my ideal.
The ideal I want to become has a grand dream that matters in the grand scheme, so I have for the past 3 weeks, been relentlessly waking up at 4AM, working out, studying, doing challenges, testing myself and my worth to see if I’m capable of pursuing my new found dream, and have finally started a business that is expected to make $100K within 6 months time.
Now, even if you don’t believe me, if you are willing to listen, I can change your life with what I am about to share with you.
And although the contents of what I have writing is personalised, if you are also willing to self insert your own ideal and ideal’s dream, to fill in the blanks for which parts have yet to make sense for YOUR purpose in life (which is also can be figured out in what you’re about to read), then you will succeed at becoming the person you want to be.
No more self improvement, psychology and philosophy videos.
No more therapy and antidepressants all of that garbage that shouldn’t even exist in a a healthy world.
It’s finally time that you were able to fulfil your basic human ability - freewill.
———————————————————————
“
20th of November, 2022:
There are two sides to devotion -
Suffering and well-being .
The devotion towards the suffering of your enemies, no matter how many there are and how large your rage is against their existence.
The devotion towards the well-being of someone or something who/that is greater than you. So, you no longer think about yourself, and your entire life revolves around that higher power.
A man who craves the suffering of his enemies is a demon who has the potential to want the world destroyed.
A man who desires to be by the side of the one he admires has the potential to take over the world in favour of the one they follow.
If a man were to become the one who has his own devoties, then that leader must be devoted towards the wellbeing of those devotee’s values and beliefs. If there are divorces that are pure of heart, it is because your actions towards your devotion for them makes them feel unquestionably happy, just as pain is unquestionably insufferable.
The rage that create the desire and devotion towards the enemies is based on the amount of time and intensity of inflicted pain has been put upon the self by said enemies.
If the person is devoted towards themselves, they will get nowhere. They will simply remain as they are, even if their intention is to grow, they will only grow at the same rate that they started.
I was once a devotee of rage.
I then became the devotee of my future wife.
Through the confusion of having two obsessions, my future wife and my potential, I lost devotion in everything, for I thought that these two things were separate, and I was conflicted as to which one I should have paid more attention to.
This struggle and identity crisis caused me to become devoted towards the bettering of myself, so I could finally answer the question as to why I was no longer sensitive and loving, and fix myself.
5 years later I realised that my rage is completely gone, but can resurface if the one I am devoted to is hurt in my place - which hurts even more.
I want to prevent that, but I wasn’t even sure what or who I was devoted towards anymore:
My wife, or myself?
After this question came to mind, that’s when the tug of war ended, and the unending search of the self ended, for I knew who I was, and I know why I am doing anything in the first place.
…
My ideal is someone who I want to become, for the vibes are otherworldly, and I want that.
The ideal however is devoted towards, not their dream, but the reason for their dream - their “why”.
Her why is to make sure that suffering ends.
It’s not that she wants her enemies to suffer, she wants those who are devoted towards the suffering of others to no longer rule this world. Those who are not even devoted towards anything or anyone are not fit to rule, and those who are not sensible enough to realise what is worth devoting your life to, is a threat to those who are fit to rule.
Suffering exists, but my rage has completely distinguished, so I cannot feel sensitive towards that experience, for I do not feel it.
However, I do know that stupidity exists, and that emotional burden and purgatory of mediocre hell is something I can relate to.
I keep being told that nothing I say is possible now, even by the one who preached to me that “anything is possible”, my own mother.
No one believes in me because they believe that the “realistic approach” is the correct approach, and that includes any and all limitations.
…
I can still make myself become sensitive however, I won’t compromise with this limited perspective.
If I must relearn pain the hard way, so be it.
…
My ideal’s reason for devotion towards world domination is… to create an ideal world.
An ideal world that doesn’t include the unfairness, injustice, and stupid ruling that it currently has.
There should be 100% freedom for all people: financial, spiritual, mental, physical. All of it.
When all that is freed, and everyone can live the ideal life, then everyone can pursue their own dreams, no matter how big or how small, with unlimited ease - for life is finally the “sandbox game” that we make it out to be when we were younger and 1000x more innocent.
With such level of freedom to pursue our dreams, the world truly becomes a meritocracy, and the game of life can really take on the word ‘game’ as a whole.
Some people at the start of this power transition, from democracy to meritocracy, will have internal conflicts within themselves as I once had, since everyone with the desire to fulfil their devotion of making their enemies suffer, will suddenly no longer have any enemies, so they will feel lost. That is why I will make sure everyone around the world is educated on all the 3 possibilities for devotion that exist:
This is what I want.
I want a world where no one has to suffer anymore, and all limits are shattered. Everyone knows that anything is possible, and the world will finally be in the hands of individuals who have the will to take it for themselves, those who are worthy.
Children get to live out their lives freely, without the concern of school or bullying, and simply get to live out their childhoods, finding what it is they’re passionate about through the experiences they gain throughout the rest of their lives - for we are all children at heart.
”
For over 5 years, I have been depressed and lost, searching for a meaning in life.
I found my meaning, and that’s to become my ideal.
The ideal I want to become has a grand dream that matters in the grand scheme, so I have for the past 3 weeks, been relentlessly waking up at 4AM, working out, studying, doing challenges, testing myself and my worth to see if I’m capable of pursuing my new found dream, and have finally started a business that is expected to make $100K within 6 months time.
Now, even if you don’t believe me, if you are willing to listen, I can change your life with what I am about to share with you.
And although the contents of what I have writing is personalised, if you are also willing to self insert your own ideal and ideal’s dream, to fill in the blanks for which parts have yet to make sense for YOUR purpose in life (which is also can be figured out in what you’re about to read), then you will succeed at becoming the person you want to be.
No more self improvement, psychology and philosophy videos.
No more therapy and antidepressants all of that garbage that shouldn’t even exist in a a healthy world.
It’s finally time that you were able to fulfil your basic human ability - freewill.
———————————————————————
“
20th of November, 2022:
There are two sides to devotion -
Suffering and well-being .
The devotion towards the suffering of your enemies, no matter how many there are and how large your rage is against their existence.
The devotion towards the well-being of someone or something who/that is greater than you. So, you no longer think about yourself, and your entire life revolves around that higher power.
A man who craves the suffering of his enemies is a demon who has the potential to want the world destroyed.
A man who desires to be by the side of the one he admires has the potential to take over the world in favour of the one they follow.
If a man were to become the one who has his own devoties, then that leader must be devoted towards the wellbeing of those devotee’s values and beliefs. If there are divorces that are pure of heart, it is because your actions towards your devotion for them makes them feel unquestionably happy, just as pain is unquestionably insufferable.
The rage that create the desire and devotion towards the enemies is based on the amount of time and intensity of inflicted pain has been put upon the self by said enemies.
If the person is devoted towards themselves, they will get nowhere. They will simply remain as they are, even if their intention is to grow, they will only grow at the same rate that they started.
I was once a devotee of rage.
I then became the devotee of my future wife.
Through the confusion of having two obsessions, my future wife and my potential, I lost devotion in everything, for I thought that these two things were separate, and I was conflicted as to which one I should have paid more attention to.
This struggle and identity crisis caused me to become devoted towards the bettering of myself, so I could finally answer the question as to why I was no longer sensitive and loving, and fix myself.
5 years later I realised that my rage is completely gone, but can resurface if the one I am devoted to is hurt in my place - which hurts even more.
I want to prevent that, but I wasn’t even sure what or who I was devoted towards anymore:
My wife, or myself?
After this question came to mind, that’s when the tug of war ended, and the unending search of the self ended, for I knew who I was, and I know why I am doing anything in the first place.
…
My ideal is someone who I want to become, for the vibes are otherworldly, and I want that.
The ideal however is devoted towards, not their dream, but the reason for their dream - their “why”.
Her why is to make sure that suffering ends.
It’s not that she wants her enemies to suffer, she wants those who are devoted towards the suffering of others to no longer rule this world. Those who are not even devoted towards anything or anyone are not fit to rule, and those who are not sensible enough to realise what is worth devoting your life to, is a threat to those who are fit to rule.
Suffering exists, but my rage has completely distinguished, so I cannot feel sensitive towards that experience, for I do not feel it.
However, I do know that stupidity exists, and that emotional burden and purgatory of mediocre hell is something I can relate to.
I keep being told that nothing I say is possible now, even by the one who preached to me that “anything is possible”, my own mother.
No one believes in me because they believe that the “realistic approach” is the correct approach, and that includes any and all limitations.
…
I can still make myself become sensitive however, I won’t compromise with this limited perspective.
If I must relearn pain the hard way, so be it.
…
My ideal’s reason for devotion towards world domination is… to create an ideal world.
An ideal world that doesn’t include the unfairness, injustice, and stupid ruling that it currently has.
There should be 100% freedom for all people: financial, spiritual, mental, physical. All of it.
When all that is freed, and everyone can live the ideal life, then everyone can pursue their own dreams, no matter how big or how small, with unlimited ease - for life is finally the “sandbox game” that we make it out to be when we were younger and 1000x more innocent.
With such level of freedom to pursue our dreams, the world truly becomes a meritocracy, and the game of life can really take on the word ‘game’ as a whole.
Some people at the start of this power transition, from democracy to meritocracy, will have internal conflicts within themselves as I once had, since everyone with the desire to fulfil their devotion of making their enemies suffer, will suddenly no longer have any enemies, so they will feel lost. That is why I will make sure everyone around the world is educated on all the 3 possibilities for devotion that exist:
- Well-being (powerful but flexible, when it comes to rage scenarios, so it’s good.)
- Rage (powerful but bad)
- Self satisfaction (boring)
This is what I want.
I want a world where no one has to suffer anymore, and all limits are shattered. Everyone knows that anything is possible, and the world will finally be in the hands of individuals who have the will to take it for themselves, those who are worthy.
Children get to live out their lives freely, without the concern of school or bullying, and simply get to live out their childhoods, finding what it is they’re passionate about through the experiences they gain throughout the rest of their lives - for we are all children at heart.
”