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Relationships with Friends (1 Viewer)

Nashie

Ace up my sleeve
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Ok.. I feel really pathetic posting a thread here, but neway!

This girls and I have been really good friends for almost 3 years now and now she is interestd in more, I made the suggestion a few times before but she has always been definatly "it will ruin our friendship" and now that she is finally interested it is feeling very weird when we go to do anything remotely "couplish" (ie. kiss, etc....) because we have been friends for so long!

Help, suggestions please!
 

djravine

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I've been in your position.

It almost NEVER works out. You're gonna lose your friend if you get into a relationship together.
 

cute_lil_thing

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Nashie said:
Ok.. I feel really pathetic posting a thread here, but neway!

This girls and I have been really good friends for almost 3 years now and now she is interestd in more, I made the suggestion a few times before but she has always been definatly "it will ruin our friendship" and now that she is finally interested it is feeling very weird when we go to do anything remotely "couplish" (ie. kiss, etc....) because we have been friends for so long!

Help, suggestions please!
yer im in a similiar situation but mines a bit more complicated. longgggg story.
 

Shell

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best friends make the best lovers. its true. well, in about 90% of cases
 

cute_lil_thing

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Shell said:
best friends make the best lovers. its true. well, in about 90% of cases
until it ends nasty. ask urself if its worth taking ur relationship further.
 

sparkl3z

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u cant guarantee anything in life without taking the risk, and the thing is u noe them more closely, you know that the relationship isn't fake, this way if it works, it might even last for a lifetime.
 

Serius

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Nashie said:
Ok.. I feel really pathetic posting a thread here, but neway!

This girls and I have been really good friends for almost 3 years now and now she is interestd in more, I made the suggestion a few times before but she has always been definatly "it will ruin our friendship" and now that she is finally interested it is feeling very weird when we go to do anything remotely "couplish" (ie. kiss, etc....) because we have been friends for so long!

Help, suggestions please!
alright iam just gonna call it like i see it here.

The friendship is allready fucked. Plain and simple, if you have feelings for her, have ksised her and done shit like that, it will never go back to what is used to be like. The real question is wether or not u can make the relationship work or not. Ofcourse its going to feel wierd atfirst, because like you been friends for 3 years! but that will fade in time cause u will realise the advantages of dating someone you have known for ages
e.g You know her habits, you know what she likes, you know never to take her to a horror movie[for example] you know she only eats chocolate icecream, you know she doesnt like teddybears but prefers stuffed tigers...whatever these things are, you know them so it will make the relationship feel alot older than it really is, which gives it a better and safer feel.

I would say go for it, your only other alternative is to try and go back to the way things were before, be uncomfrtable for a while cause you realise it cant go back, and then slowly watch the firendship wither and die

gl there anyways
 

Shell

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I could never have a relationship with someone if they werent my closest and best friend.
 

Dreamerish*~

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Nashie said:
Ok.. I feel really pathetic posting a thread here, but neway!

This girls and I have been really good friends for almost 3 years now and now she is interestd in more, I made the suggestion a few times before but she has always been definatly "it will ruin our friendship" and now that she is finally interested it is feeling very weird when we go to do anything remotely "couplish" (ie. kiss, etc....) because we have been friends for so long!

Help, suggestions please!
I agree with Serius. Once you know the thought has crossed both of your minds, you can't keep pretending to be nothing more than friends. Just give it a shot and see how it goes. If things don't work out, at least you would have satisfied your curiosity.
 

kazan

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Dreamerish*~ said:
I agree with Serius. Once you know the thought has crossed both of your minds, you can't keep pretending to be nothing more than friends. Just give it a shot and see how it goes. If things don't work out, at least you would have satisfied your curiosity.
i disagree, me and one of my close female friends hooked up a few times, and then pretty much got back to life without it, we discussed going out and stuff, but it seemed so werid,were still best friends i ring her 2-4 nights a week, and i see her at school and if anything it made our friendship better becuase we dont have to worry about what will happen if we hook up, because we allready know,
 

Dreamerish*~

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kazan said:
i disagree, me and one of my close female friends hooked up a few times, and then pretty much got back to life without it, we discussed going out and stuff, but it seemed so werid,were still best friends i ring her 2-4 nights a week, and i see her at school and if anything it made our friendship better becuase we dont have to worry about what will happen if we hook up, because we allready know,
Admit it, you still want to pash her every now and then.
 

kazan

im a herooo
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Dreamerish*~ said:
Admit it, you still want to pash her every now and then.
when drunk yes, but thats just genral horny'ness and not anything for her inparticular,she just happens to be very hawt.. i was going to edit that post and say that this mght not be the case for the threadstarter, but thats how it worked out for me.
 

SiZmOs

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i think it kinda depends on how close your friendship is... like u can be friends with someone for 3 years and you can be friends with someone for 3 years...
ive personally found being of the opposite sex often causes the friendship to be stronger (then again that might just be me)... i have been in your situation twice, and have found that both times talking about it helps, heaps...
sure, you can say "yeah, if it doesn't work we'll still be friends" but are you just going to say that so you can be close with her, or do you really mean it? once you have answered that you need to look at her response and make sure she really means it...

for some, dating friends is unchartered territory and often deadly grounds.. for others, it is the only way they can go because they know and feel close to the person already...
each relationship is different, and you need to look closely at your friendship with her and try to determine whether you will be able to come out of it unscathed if, *touch wood* it doesn't work out...
good luck...
 
J

jhakka

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One of my closest friends became my girlfriend. We've been together for over two years with no problems.
 

xiao1985

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so much like what i went through... i was close firend with this girl for 2 yrs now... and when we were close friends for 1/2 a year, due to soem twisted turn out of events, i told her i liked her... her response was she was scared we can no longer be good friends...

so we stayed a good friends til now... though i still like her but it's up to me to suppress it infront of her... and i don't think it should really matter...

do you think it's going to work tho?!
 

Nashie

Ace up my sleeve
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Thanks for all the suggestions she is acting really strange and such i really cannot be bothered really as she is moving away for uni in only a couple of weeks! It is also annoying me because I keep on waiting for the right moment to "make my move" and get serious like she suggested and she keeps putting me off with her body language, etc! *pulls hair out*
 

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