poem (1 Viewer)

[hellohelllo]

Re: Can I PM/email anyone my narrative for advise?

ok i no im meant to post this in a new thread but i dont no how so if u guys dont mind, could someone check my poem and tell me hwo it could be improved?what's wrong with it?does it demonstrate belonging?does it show belonging on more than one level?etc.
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[FONT=&quot]The Stranger[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Why do I feel[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Like a wolf that has been[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Deserted by its pack[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]When I am surrounded by[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]My family and friends?[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]I am [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]A desert,[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Barren and forsaken[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]With no-one I can talk to[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]And no-one who understands [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]My thoughts[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]When I am surrounded by [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]My family and friends?[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]I wander aimlessly around the house[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]That I once had loved[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]And thought was mine[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]I share the surnames [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Of the others[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] Who live in this house,[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Yet I do not have their attitude.[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]I have the wealth that other have,[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Yet I do not share their contempt.[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]I ride the cars that others ride[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Yet I do not attend their parties,[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Nor do I partake of their so called fellowship.[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]I travel to worlds of my own making[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]And there I have[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Friends[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]And family,[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]That thinks like me[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]And share my love and pleasure of[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]All the things that surround me.[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]With them, I am at peace[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]I voice my thoughts and opinions on the world around me,[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Without fearing rejection or mocking laughter.[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]Here is a place where I finally belong.[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]A place where everything is possible,[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]A place I can finally call my home.[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] i really would appreciate all ur comments and feedback thx a lot in advance[/FONT]
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