Well removing "FUCK OFFF" from your sig might help a little bit...
No seriously...
There was a guy in the year below us who has Aspergers, and I also have a friend who has drug induced Schizophrenia. He's medicated so it doesn't affect him too much.
I don't have problems with either of these guys, but I do have a lot of friends who find them awkward. It's not just in what they say, it's about the subtlety of how they communicate. Body Language, tone and volume, the speed with which they speak, the topics they choose.
The guy with aspergers tended to rave on a bit, and make people awkward by finishing a conversation. He also tended to come up out of the blue and talk to you when you were doing something else or engaged in another conversation. The guy with Schizophrenia tends to be a little inappropriate and appears to want too much attention.
My suggestions would be this.
1) Try and exude happiness. Just smile at people, even if they don't smile back. People like people who are fun to be around.
2) Don't just sidle up to people. Be subtle about it. Wait in line at a coffee shop. Little conversation starters like "How you doin'" tend to flush out people who want to talk and don't. If the conversation ends with just "good", then they probably don't want to talk - so stop there. If they ask the question back, then a really out of the blue answer like "I'm actually pretty awesome" tend to peak peoples interests, and then it can go from there. There are all sorts of tricks to making people think that talking to you is a good idea.
3) Let other people do most of the talking. Ask them questions about them. People like to talk about themselves a bit... so ask them really general questions and let them carry the conversation. Good listeners tend to make good friends. But don't ask really personal questions. Because that will probably scare them off...
4) Be patient. People aren't going to be your friends straight away. If you manage to get to the point of discovering someones name, then that's a good first meeting. If you are interesting they'll remember you, and if you run into them again then you'll probably be able to make conversation.
5) Get a job, join a sports team, join a community group (get involved in a theatre company or something like that). It may not be for you, but I work as in Christian Ministry. Try finding yourself a Young Adults type Bible Study. You don't have to go to Church. And all a bible study really is is looking at a passage and talking about it. You don't have to agree, in fact you can completely oppose what's in the bible, most Christians won't mind. Try calling an Anglican or Baptist Church, as they usually have lots of mid-week Bible study groups going.
6) When you are meeting people think about things like body language. Are you being to open. Are you to close. Things like that.
