Is this happened to you? (1 Viewer)

[Yang_Science]

I am a chinese hsc student who finished hsc in class of '04. I like science very much especially for biology. I have tranditioonal parents. They always say that im lazy studying or didnt study hard in high school ... ...but the fact is that my math (both 3U/4u) are top in the school. and main problem between me and them now is uni degree choice. I apply for general science degree at any univeristies in australia, then transfer to Usyd to do 2 and 3rd year medical science. But my parents think it is stupid beacuse medicial science is not as popular as commerce in chinese community. What they want me to do is commerce degrees but i really hate economics (i dropped it in year 12. I found it is the worst course that i had cuz i dont like too much essays and reading, and my eco teacher is bad who says something bad to my friend behind my back)... Do ur guys really think as what my parents metion that im too stupid to study medical science? Should I do what they want me to do??? Why do chinese parents design their kid's life, however OZ parents let their kids do what their kids want to do? Are u prond that u r a Chinese even if u r ABC. I was born in China, but came here several years ago........sometimes i ask myself: why am i a chinese? Its shit to be a chinese.....for me, i never prond of that.......Beacuse china is not a smart country such as its policy or govenment and so on.....

 

[ur_inner_child]

Don't bag your background first of all. Recognise that it is "culture clash" not that the Chinese culture is "stupid."

But yeah I understand what you're going through, except I want to do B Music, not B Commerce. You can imagine how crazy my parents feel.

The thing is they're afraid for you. They want the best for you. They probably also want to "fit in" and look prestigious... as in "Well my daughter is doing B Commerce etc"

Don't do what your parents tell you to do if its not what you want. You'll be wasting money and time. Do what you want to do and assure them that you know what you're doing. Be calm and mature. You're an adult now. Do not whine and argue, just be firm. They'll take you more seriously that way.

Tell them that you will not wind up on the streets or in financial hardship (Medical Science isn't exactly a dead end degree now is it? hahaha) and tell them you've considered their advice, you've thought about it very hard and you are certain that you want to do Medical Science these reasons. (Make some reasons). If they argue with this, tell them that only YOU know what you enjoy and that you WILL SUCCEED if you enjoy it.

If THIS STILL does not work, be persistant. If things get worse PM me about it. I know exactly what you're going through.

Just remember that this is YOUR LIFE, and YOU run it. When you're old, say 89 or something, and you had followed what your parents advised you to do DESPITE what YOU wanted to do, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Good Luck!

 

[Collin]

Your parents just want you to do Commerce because all the other Chinese kids are doin' it.. and so they can fit in with their other chummy Chinese mates and go 'Yeah, my son's doing Commerce too!!'. And of course, it doesn't pay bad. Commerce is a more job-finding-safe degree than say, a general science degree, and that could be why your parents wanted it aswell.

BUT reality is, if you don't love your degree, you won't go well in it. You NEED to implant this concept into your parent's head. Having Chinese parents can suck, because they always pushed me to do Commerce, Law or Medicine.. which I totally wasn't interested in, err.. except for Medicine but I was too much of a dumbass to get in so f00k.

 

[Frigid]

i'm too tired to argue for/against Chinese parents. yes this is what they do. accept it. if you do, there's less friction. if you don't, then there's probably some disowning and kicking out of house happening.

in the end, it's your life. think about what your parents say, think about your future. if you feel what they say will help you become successful in life, then it might be wise to accept what they say. if you feel it won't help you in the future, then ignore it, move out, be an unfilial bastard.

by the way, most of the time this happens because there is a lack of communication and understanding between parents and children.

 

[jm1234567890]

i'm too tired to argue for/against Chinese parents. yes this is what they do. accept it. if you do, there's less friction. if you don't, then there's probably some disowning and kicking out of house happening.

in the end, it's your life. think about what your parents say, think about your future. if you feel what they say will help you become successful in life, then it might be wise to accept what they say. if you feel it won't help you in the future, then ignore it, move out, be an unfilial bastard.

by the way, most of the time this happens because there is a lack of communication and understanding between parents and children.

yes, i agree, just try and work around it. Tell them why you want to do medical science and why you don't want commerce, just communicate.

 

[xiao1985]

lolz, why did i see a xiao-junior in yang_science???

the exact same thing happened to me... my parents wanted me to do sumthing pragmatic, but i wanted to do sci (i wanted to do striaght sci in fact...)

at the end, i took the option of doin a compromise between our two options... sci/comm...
so i keep them shut up and make myself happie 2...

ok dude, the fact is that ur parents thinks they are thinkin the best of u... but then u see, they are not always right... and regardin collin's comment that sci has less job scope than commerce, well, we will just see abt that... i am feelin highly dubious abt that... i think the commerce area is highly saturated with graduates, and competition is fierce...

so i would recommend u to do wut u like... at least if u screw up, u can't blame ur parents...

and lastly, DON'T blame ur culture... i always hated the fact that i had to do commerce, but i blamed by parents, never my culture... i am proud to be a chinese and i always will be... not patriotism or anything, but chinese has the capacity to do some truly amazin thing...

 

[...]

my parents dun care what i do

coz they know i'm stupid and its no use forcing me to do a degree WHEN I CAN'T BLOODY GET INTO IT


=D

 

[paper cup]

where is neo when you need him.
sorry I'm not going to contribute anything useful so I should get out.

 

[meLoncoLLie]

Don't blame it on the culture, as xiao had said. Do what YOU want to do! You're going to live with YOURSELF and YOUR career for the rest of your life, not your parents. You don't want to be doing commerce resentfully, later on hating it and blaming your parents all over again.

The fact that you came first in 3/4U maths proves you're not dumb. And what will your parents do to you if you don't study commerce? Kick you out of the house? Then I suggest you go find a place of your own near you uni, and study medical science happily ever after

btw if my advice isn't good enough, sorry... it's only my opinion, i'm unable to sympathise with you, because my parents don't give a damn about my studies!

 

[Jago]

my parents want me to be an IT consultant or something to do with computer, but i basically just ignored them. Works well.

 

[:: ck ::]

chinese culture
go for
med --> law --> actuarial / commerce --> (rebels come in here)

 

[jm1234567890]

chinese culture
go for
med --> law --> actuarial / commerce --> (rebels come in here)

ai!!

engineering or science is ain't so bad!

the only real one all chinese parents have against is creative arts or history, lol

btw, the title of this thread, lol

 

[santaslayer]

ive never had this problem before because i usually fit into their criteria....this has been a pure coincidence....

but from what i gather from friends...u do need to educate your parents and tell them that if u excel in your chosen career path, the money will STIll be rolling in....

 

[withoutaface]

My parents encourage me to do what I want, which is good, because if they didn't I wouldn't hesitate to tell them to ggf

 

[jm1234567890]

My parents encourage me to do what I want, which is good, because if they didn't I wouldn't hesitate to tell them to ggf

what does 'ggf' stand for?

 

[withoutaface]

what does 'ggf' stand for?

go get fucked

 

[Yang_Science]

Thnx, guys......I think i'll do what i want to.....They cant change me at all.....

 

[ur_inner_child]

I believe in you!!!

 

[(^o^)]

I am a chinese hsc student who finished hsc in class of '04. I like science very much especially for biology. I have tranditioonal parents. They always say that im lazy studying or didnt study hard in high school ... ...but the fact is that my math (both 3U/4u) are top in the school. and main problem between me and them now is uni degree choice. I apply for general science degree at any univeristies in australia, then transfer to Usyd to do 2 and 3rd year medical science. But my parents think it is stupid beacuse medicial science is not as popular as commerce in chinese community. What they want me to do is commerce degrees but i really hate economics (i dropped it in year 12. I found it is the worst course that i had cuz i dont like too much essays and reading, and my eco teacher is bad who says something bad to my friend behind my back)... Do ur guys really think as what my parents metion that im too stupid to study medical science? Should I do what they want me to do??? Why do chinese parents design their kid's life, however OZ parents let their kids do what their kids want to do? Are u prond that u r a Chinese even if u r ABC. I was born in China, but came here several years ago........sometimes i ask myself: why am i a chinese? Its shit to be a chinese.....for me, i never prond of that.......Beacuse china is not a smart country such as its policy or govenment and so on.....

Man your parents are way too "tranditioonal" like you said before. Thank god mine aren't like that, mum told at the beginning of yr 11 that it's my choice to study or not cos it's my future and my life and they'll support me no matter what I do. I think they would also love to send you to Harvard if they can afford it too...
Hmm, I'm sorry, your parents are restraining you.
You, are yourself. Sure you are their daughter so do take their advice along with your friends and even comments in this forum.
And say, you do econ degree now, parents all happy and boast about their daughter (as they normally do) you think you gonna be happy and all? What if you don't like the course? What if you have to write heaps of essays that you hate? What if...

It's YOUR life. So good luck and have faith in yourself.

 

[ur_inner_child]

Oh and another thing,

Remember that going by YOUR way and YOUR needs, you are NOT a bad daughter.

Just because you are "rebelling" you are NOT a bad person.

Why - because there are other parents out there that WANT their daughter to do something like Medical Science (like my parents who hate me doing music) and they are OTHER parents that wish they'd have a daughter like you that even CONSIDERS tertiary education.

you're a good daughter, remember that. Just in case you somehow lose touch of it. I know I did. I thought I was a terrible person by following my love for music until some sense got kicked into me.