gf has mood swings seemingly every fortnight (1 Viewer)

[Chriis]

Hi, my gf of 9 months acts odd sometimes, we went out on tuesday to the city bla bla, and today I rang her and she's all quiet and giving one word responses, and I asked her what's wrong and she wouldn't tell me...

Then after trying to get it out of her, and asking if it was me, she gave me no response then she said she had to go eat lunch, I asked her if she'd call me back and she said no.

What the fuck?

I haven't done anything, why does she go into these "quiet" moods where she never talks on the phone and never tells me what's up? I can tell straight away when she answers, it's no longer "hey chris!" its "...hey"

What am I supposed to do? I sent her a message saying I'm pretty hurt that she doesn't tell me what's wrong and all i've ever done is cared for her, what else can I do. :/

 

[Dreamerish*~]

Well, you really can't think of anything you've done that might have hurt her?

If not, then you'll just have to wait until she either stops acting moody, or tells you what she is moody about. You've already told her your feelings and tried to talk to her, if you go any further, she'll be annoyed.

There are probably a lot of factors that could contribute to her moodiness. Maybe she's having problems with her family and she doesn't feel comfortable enough talking to you about it. Whatever it is, if she's not comfortable talking about it, she won't talk about it.

I would imagine how frustrating this could be, but if you care about her, keep being supportive, listen to her if she ever wants to talk, and make it clear to her that you'll always be there if she needs you.

 

[Chriis]

well im pretty close to her family so i doubt it's anything to do with that... everything was 100% on tues and then today i get silent treatment :/

 

[Dreamerish*~]

well im pretty close to her family so i doubt it's anything to do with that... everything was 100% on tues and then today i get silent treatment :/

You said she gets moody every fortnight, so it's not the first time it had happened. Has it been going on for a long time, or was it just the last few weeks?

How serious is your relationship?

Well, it's not PMS, because PMS doesn't come every fortnight.

 

[neo o]

PMS is the best excuse ever. My girlfriend suffers from it at least once a week.

 

[Tuggi3]

don't push the issue.
it'll make it worse

 

[hiphophorray123]

kiill the bitch

 

[Chriis]

it feels fortnightly, maybe im exagerating, but it seems to be nothing is wrong and a problem is created that is beyond my control.

we have a pretty serious relationship, she's not as open as i'd like her to be though, we spoke about this a few weeks ago and she said something about not being able to explain why and maybe she'll be able to tell me later on.

I just assumed she's afraid of being hurt or something like in prior relationships, however I've never done anything to even wink at that kind of thing, and after 9 months I think i deserve a bit more of her trust etc to be honest

sometimes she'll put her friends before me, which pisses me off and i've told her this and her response is along the lines of they'll always be there for her, and that implies to me as if I won't be... I told her I wasn't happy with that, because how can I ever prove to her I can be there for her always if she doesn't give me the chance to?

Back to how frequently this happens, it has happened before though, like, everything is tops and then out of no where she's not really the same cheery person she always is, and I get paranoid it's something i've done.

I think i'll see her tonight, it's someone's farewell party, i'm not going to bring anything up, i havent done anything, if she wants to talk to me, she can :/ Or should I be trying to find out what's up?

 

[MaryJane]

Meh, all girls go through this silent thing. I do it, and it drives my boy insane I know. But I can no longer do it over the phone, its always in person (as we live together) which takes away the mystery.

Basically, she could have an issue, but it might not necessarily be because of you. She might just be in a mood, or be feelings vulnerable or un-loved (although by the sounds of it she shouldnt). Also, she might just be in a "poor me" mood. Either way, just let it slide. I know its upsetting and hurtful, but try and distance yourself as best you can. You've obviously not done anything to upset her, so just try and forget about it: she'll come around in her own time, and will more than likely tell you what was wrong, if there was anything wrong in the first place.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

At this point I think you should just leave it, and talk about it only when she wants to. I think you're overreacting, and maybe that is making you feel it happens more frequently than it actually does - it could just be PMS. However, if it isn't, then there is nothing you can do, and nothing you should do, until she talks about it.

Haven't you ever heard of the "chicks before dicks" rule? It is true that real friends will always be there for you, but guys come and go. She's normal if she puts her friends before you, but if she does it constantly, like cancelling on you at the last minute to go out with her friends, then it isn't fair. If she doesn't want to put you first all the time, forcing her to do so would only make her feel suffocated.

Prove to her that you always will be there by being there when she needs you, not by making her stay by your side all the time. Gaining her trust also means giving her trust, letting her have her own space.

 

[corro]

She's a girl, hence the bitchy ass mood swings.

 

[MaryJane]

I think i'll see her tonight, it's someone's farewell party, i'm not going to bring anything up, i havent done anything, if she wants to talk to me, she can :/ Or should I be trying to find out what's up?

She'll want you to say something about it, and perhaps you should to show you care. BUT you'll be giving into her, and it will start the vicious cycle again. Maybe dont mention it until she's in a good mood, and you're alone somewhere.

Us women are strange creatures, dont even attempt to second-guess us, because we rarely know whats going on ourselves!

And personally, I think chicks before dicks/ bros before hoes is a load of crap. They should be treated equally because its not fair to disregard others in favour of others. I think its a bit of an immature mindset. I'm still best friends with the same girls from high school despite us all having a partner. Its all to do with how diplomatic and dedicated you are to everyone in your life.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

She's a girl, hence the bitchy ass mood swings.

That's stereotypical and sexist. As if guys don't have annoying anger outbursts.
My friend's ex used to get extremely mad over the smallest things. There was one time when he started throwing things around (at school).

 

[SashatheMan]

hate chicks like that . u have to show her whos boss in the relationship.

watch Eddie Murphy - Raw

and know how to deal with women.

i did now i am god

 

[Chriis]

ok thanks thus far, i wont bring it up or anything, ill just act normal tonight and see if she comes around.

 

[joeylike2hiphop]

hey man it might be a family problem that she has some sorta problem with friends? with time, if she feels the same way about you that you to her, she will tell you.and if things are really begin to tick you off, just ask her dude. if i were in your situation, come to her house with something nice (flowers, chocolates or something romantically different) and ask her whats been going on. hope it works out for you!!

 

[joeylike2hiphop]

oh your meetin her 2nite!!!well buy her something nice b4 you meet her!and maybe leave early go to a nice spot where you two can be alone.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

oh your meetin her 2nite!!!well buy her something nice b4 you meet her!and maybe leave early go to a nice spot where you two can be alone.

Well well well, aren't you a romantic one?

Do you do that for your girlfriend?

 

[joeylike2hiphop]

of course,2 years and 7 months,i know how to please my women. but back on the dude whos having trouble, a relationship is built on trust, without it it's like a castle with no walls.so trust her, your answers will come in time

 

[Shaynie69]

it feels fortnightly, maybe im exagerating, but it seems to be nothing is wrong and a problem is created that is beyond my control.

we have a pretty serious relationship, she's not as open as i'd like her to be though, we spoke about this a few weeks ago and she said something about not being able to explain why and maybe she'll be able to tell me later on.

I just assumed she's afraid of being hurt or something like in prior relationships, however I've never done anything to even wink at that kind of thing, and after 9 months I think i deserve a bit more of her trust etc to be honest

sometimes she'll put her friends before me, which pisses me off and i've told her this and her response is along the lines of they'll always be there for her, and that implies to me as if I won't be... I told her I wasn't happy with that, because how can I ever prove to her I can be there for her always if she doesn't give me the chance to?

Back to how frequently this happens, it has happened before though, like, everything is tops and then out of no where she's not really the same cheery person she always is, and I get paranoid it's something i've done.

I think i'll see her tonight, it's someone's farewell party, i'm not going to bring anything up, i havent done anything, if she wants to talk to me, she can :/ Or should I be trying to find out what's up?

ok truth time. Your gf sounds a bit like me when it comes to the friends thing, i usually put my friends before my bf (now ex). I used to get so shitted off with my bf when he had a go at me putting my friends before him (even though i used to go out with him 90% more then i did with my friends) and that pushed me more away from him cause he looked like an arsehole, you know the type who doesnt like their gfs having a life? Im not saying thats what your like but maybe thats the impression shes getting just tell her you get hurt when she chooses her friends over you most of the time. And the mood swings, we ARE females, i dont want to get you all panicky because i honestly dont know the whole story about both of you so im just doing this judgement on what ive read ok? Maybe she is just having second thoughts about being in a relationship? Many people i know who have been in a long relationship get like that and think "i havent been with anyone else" "what if i cant find anyone better" "what if this is all an act and hes using me?", so she might be having little insecurities about her life and whether or not staying with you is the right option (i think it is the right option cause you seem to really love her). Anyway i hope i was at least some help goodluck....xoxo