ellybellywyatt
New Member
50 things we wish girls knew :uhhuh:
- We aren’t mind readers!
- We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
- When you sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.
- Smoking is the biggest turn off.
- It never hurts to work out.
- If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
- "Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
- If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.) <
- Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
- Only models are able to wear most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.
- No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.
- You don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top are fine by us.
- Girls look good naked so stop worrying. <
- Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
- We are all kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let us know.
- Every so often no matter whether it is true or not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
- If were not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
- The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
- Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person. <
- If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
- Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
- You shouldn’t be flattered or grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
- Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
- We masturbate, usually more when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
- Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach you not to quit.
- Giving head is never a bad idea.
- We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so shower with us.
- There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) You on top of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
- We don’t mind going to gay movies with you but don’t tell our friends.
- You can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports movies or “Old yeller.”
- “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
- Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
- You’re probably not as funny as you think.
- Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
- Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced by a Maxim article)
- Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use a grill.
- You can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
- For every fart that slips out when you are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
- If we want to take naked pictures of you it is because we are proud and want to show you off to our friends.
- The red light means the video camera is off.
- A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether you want to do it with the lights on or off.
- Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher. <
- Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
- The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”
- Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play more often.
- Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making. <
- Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.
- If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
- The jeans don’t make your ass look fat. Your fat ass makes your ass look fat.
- 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.