Expectations (1 Viewer)

[_trickster_]

This is a discussion thread (not a "fml my marks are shit etc etc")

There are obviously, expectations that every parent has for their children/child when they grow up, whether itd be continue the family business, do the same stuff that they did, or just generally be successful, in some cases, more successful than the parents themselves

What a child grows up to be, correct me if im wrong, depends on a variety of factors, most notably, the environment that they are brought up in and their set of genetic traits

Therefore, we can split the factors of what makes a lifelong pathway, into 2 categories, natural, and unnatural

What this thread is concerned with, is the unnatural part of this, the environment in which the child is brought up in, because i believe it to be the most important part of what path we go down in life (again correct me if im wrong). In saying this, parents, have a very large part in what path we go down because they are with us, and are our main influence for the majority of our young lives and hence as a result, have a big part to play in determining our life path

The question is this:
1. How big of an influence is the unnatural part of our bringing up as compared to our natural genetic traits that determine where we go in life

(biggie)
2. Do you think parents are biased in our upbringing towards their expectations, (for example, parents who expect their children to be successful in a universal wealthy hardworking career, a doctor/lawyer for example, bias their childrens education towards more technical things such as maths/science as opposed to more creative subjects like english/history/art), and do they have a responsibility not to do so and try and expose their children to as much as they can?

3. (edit) Where does the majority of your "drive" come from? to do what you want to do, your parents or yourself?

Please go at length, feel free to add any other factors, and express your own opinion

 

[twistedrebel]

1. How big of an influence is the unnatural part of our bringing up as compared to our natural genetic traits that determine where we go in life

I really dont know, if my parents hadn't pushed me to study in my younger years, would i even be doing my HSC atm? i really dont know, i could be some high school dropout.

2. Do you think parents are biased in our upbringing towards their expectations, (for example, parents who expect their children to be successful in a universal wealthy hardworking career, a doctor/lawyer for example, bias their childrens education towards more technical things such as maths/science as opposed to more creative subjects like english/history/art), and do they have a responsibility not to do so and try and expose their children to as much as they can?
Most parents are biased because during their generation maths/science was it, the rest was a failure. Also migrants tend to think maths/science is do or die. Parents should try and expose their children to as much as possible.

i'm really tired, i took an attempt at it

 

[Lolsmith]

1. How big of an influence is the unnatural part of our bringing up as compared to our natural genetic traits that determine where we go in life?
It depends on the parents. For example, my mother doesn't particularly mind what I do. She won't chastise me or cut me out of her life for not doing medicine or law, or uni for that matter. The same can't be said for every parent. Especially those of a migrant family, as it would seem.

2. Do you think parents are biased in our upbringing towards their expectations and do they have a responsibility not to do so and try and expose their children to as much as they can?
Every parent is biased. It doesn't matter what they want for/of their child. Every parent is biased in their own ways. It is completely ignorant, disgusting and unjustifiable to force their own child to do something against their will. A child needs to experience life for themselves, not just the parts their parents want them to see.

3. Where does the majority of your "drive" come from? to do what you want to do, your parents or yourself?
My course in life is decided ultimately by me. I have no interference from my family, only support. My motivation is entirely my own and I derive it from the fact that I need to do well at school to get to where I want to in life. It is also to prove how well I can do this year at school. I could get to uni with a 77 ATAR and still do well afterwards. I'm better than that and my results will reflect it.

 

[nutcracker]

initially my parents were more biased towards the maths and the sciences; i slaved through year 7-11 maths and science, even entertaining the idea of becoming a doctor. but i think they've finally come to realise that my areas of strength are english and the humanities and they support me with that. they even went as far as to let me drop 3u maths, which like, unheard of in our little curry community.

every parent thinks they know best because they've "gone through all this before", and while they can offer a lot of good advice, i think it's important for them to stop and think a little about what's best for their child.

my "drive" is all my own. my work ethic may have come from my upbringing and the schools i've attended, but in the end it all comes down to me and i want to do well for me. i have dreams and goals that my parents never had, would never even think of having but i know i'm going to fulfil them in the future because that's what i want to do.

 

[UnrealAnchovies]

1. How big of an influence is the unnatural part of our bringing up as compared to our natural genetic traits that determine where we go in life
For me, it's a pretty big factor, I'm the "destined to be doctor" of the family. So much so, my dads gone as far as neglecting other "decent" industries in law, engineering and whatnot. Ultimately, if I end up in medicine, be it my own will, then I can safely say it was my decision initially influenced by my parents. However, recently, they've seen that I'm not the person who finds performing surgery the "number 1 job" and hence have been more considerate in telling me to do whatever I wish.

So from this, in my case, it became clear that there was pressure during my early years, however those have been cleared now that I'm a senior making my own choices.


2. Do you think parents are biased in our upbringing towards their expectations, and do they have a responsibility not to do so and try and expose their children to as much as they can?
Definitely. A parent should, without doubt, try to expose a child's strengths from their early years, to establish what their weaknesses are also and hence assist in the choosing of the perfect career path. They're biased in what their upbringing was like. My dad, wanted to do politics, got in, however was unable to pursue it due to certain socioeconomic factors at the time.

3. Where does the majority of your "drive" come from? to do what you want to do, your parents or yourself?
My motivation to do work comes from myself and essentially the image of those around me. When kids come to school, unprepared for exams and stuff, but seem to have "fun" facebooking God knows however long and MSN until the morning, I sometimes (emphasize 'sometimes'), feel i could just do the same. But you have to consider 10 years time; where they'll be, as opposed to where all the hard-workers will be.

Sorry If I'm only a prelim and answering, I just thought I could relate to the questions.

 

[showy]

1. How big of an influence is the unnatural part of our bringing up as compared to our natural genetic traits that determine where we go in life

For me its both. My parents are willing to support me whether I excel or am average at school. In the first part of primary school I was pretty average, and they were fine with that, then I turned out to be 'naturally bright' and started topping things without my parents influence.

Of course my parents taught me a lot of what I know general knowledge wise, and got me into reading really young so that obviously contributed to where I am now and where I am going. It's a balance of both natural genetic traits and unnatural environmental components.

2. Do you think parents are biased in our upbringing towards their expectations,

I suppose, my parents are part-time environmentalists so mum always pushes me a bit that way. I think for the greater part, yes. But for me, no, because they trust me to do well. If they thought I would do severely otherwise they probably would take a larger bias.

Also migrants tend to think maths/science is do or die.

I disagree with this, it might be the case for Indian/Asian immigrants but my parents migrated fairly well-off from central Europe, and see the value of arts too.

3.Where does the majority of your "drive" come from? to do what you want to do, your parents or yourself?
Me. Hoping to have enough cash to buy my parents a sweet as Peugeot one day though.

 

[_trickster_]

thanks for the input guys, big help

more appreciated!