Do you indicate your love first? (1 Viewer)

[vafa]

If you are really in love with someone, do you say to him/her, I love you or you wait till she/he says that to you?

 

[puglover]

well im not really sure but how it worked with my boyfriend was..
the thing is my boy was my best friend..
and i was so cared of loosing my best friend..
so i asked him is there one word that could some up how you feel
about us.. he said yes.. then i said.. how many letters? and he said 4..
and it kinda went from there lmao
such a chicken way to go about it.. but hey it worked

 

[Cykologi_gal]

Ahhh that 4-letter word really might've been something else lol. You really are daring to ask him in that way!

Depending on the situation and how close you are - really. I "got" my first guy by admitting it to him in the Opera House lol - yes, very romantic (not)...and from that point on, I haven't been afraid of admitting my feelings to any guy that I like, unless I've never spoken to him before, in which case I'd start a conversation and become friends first.

I don't really care if I get rejected etc - it just becomes awkward for a while and then you "grow up" and let go of it - then because you've been through that, the friendship is likely to be deeper and more understanding is integrated into it because you have had that "acknowledgement of feelings".

I'd say - go for it - I'm mostly a modern woman after all - but...if it would come to a possible relationship, then I probably wouldn't initiate it by admitting my feelings first, I'd build things up and see how the guy feels - don't you find that you deal with break-ups easier when the guy likes you first?! Like, if he dumps you, then you're more likely to not feel as sad...compared to if you had done the chasing. You're prolly more likely not to feel as if you've lost a whole part of yourself...and of course, if you do the dumping, then it's your decision after all, you're in control.

 

[chelzmalee]

I've always been told first... I guess I always wonder whether or not it is love, or whether it's lust. I'm hesitant and am very scared of getting hurt in relationships, so I usually hold back..

 

[glitterfairy]

^ I hope you're kidding there :/ Because you've just turned off a whole bunch of girls who like to say "I love you" in those special moments when they really mean it...


I think it should be said when the moment is right. Obviously if the guy is a jerk and you're consciously aware you're overly head over heels in love with him, try to restrain yourself But if it's a more "normal" relationship and you really mean it, then say it! Even if your partner isn't ready to say it back to you yet, they'll probably be touched that you feel that way

 

[Ennaybur]

so u never want someon to say they love you, to you?

 

[UnIqUe_PrInCeSs]

Saying "I love you" is cinematic, and that's where it belongs- not in real life. Anyone who says that to me is going to cop a back hander.

hey, I love you










(not)

 

[dodgyfilokid]

I did say it to my girl first and she just went with the flow...i mean its up to the individual..no one has to say it really...actions speak louder than words

 

[ujuphleg]

It would probably be safe to say that, since boys are the ones that tend to freak out at the thought of commitment more than girls do, if you are a guy and you really do feel like you're in love, you should say it if she hasn't said it already.

With the two boyfriends I've had, I've felt the love thing but waited til they said it first so that they didn't feel pressured to say it to back to me if they didn't feel like that.

Granted, if they had taken longer than they did then perhaps I may have said something first but it all worked out fine in the end. And chances are, if you are really in love, it'll pop out when you least expect it (the word guys, the L word - I can forsee the trolls giving a smart alec comment to what I just said )

 

[Redgoddess]

My ex-b/f said it to me first...I'd been thinking about telling him for a while but we had a nice casual relationship and i didnt want to wreck it by pressuring him. then he said it and all was good my ex-g/f told me first as well, and this was before we started dating, cos she thought that if people know where other people are at, then hurt is less likely to ensue. i told her i didnt know, then one day after spending a day with her (still before we were going out) i came to the realisation that i loved her as well, so i told her ... we eventually got together then my mum banned us from seeing each other cos she thought she was distracting me... that was several months ago and sometimes i still miss her :S
i dont think you should tell someone you love them unless you really mean it, but i personally like to tell people who matter to me that i love them so that they know that i care, and because hey? who doesnt like being told you love them (unless it's in an awkward pressure situation). much love to my friends - there's a difference between loving someone (what you have with friends, family etc) and being IN love with someone (what you have in a rlnship), though ideally in a rlnship you should love them and be IN love with them... well...that's what i reckon *shrugs*
*end wandering ramble*

 

[blueeyesguy]

^ I hope you're kidding there :/ Because you've just turned off a whole bunch of girls who like to say "I love you" in those special moments when they really mean it...


I think it should be said when the moment is right. Obviously if the guy is a jerk and you're consciously aware you're overly head over heels in love with him, try to restrain yourself But if it's a more "normal" relationship and you really mean it, then say it! Even if your partner isn't ready to say it back to you yet, they'll probably be touched that you feel that way

yeah i agree with the person being touched emotionally by the "I love you comment" personally id be hella suprised lol that an individual other than a relative would feel that way about me. Id always say if the moment is right then it should come naturally and more than likely it will be spontaneous if your partner doesnt feel the same way then its not the end of the world.Enough said im sure its all been mentioned by every1 else

 

[nicole1223456]

i believe u should tell him. but i also believe that it depends how long uv known him and if it is tru love. i knew my bf for 3yrs as best friends and then when we began datin i had a car accident and he came to the hosp and it realy hit me then that i love him. thankfuly he felt the same way and he told me as soon as i was out of hosp and i was so happy coz i was scared he didnt feel the same way. so i think go for it, coz u never know...he might be feeling the same way

 

[jest]

depends, i'd say it if i really felt that way

 

[ElGronko]

I was once asked it I felt the 4 letter word, and I was like "cake"?

Needless to say i got 0wned for the next couple of weeks.

 

[vorahk]

lmao, nice lol.

its either make or break, timing is really important, also the hardest bit.

if you do go for it, just be prepared to be rejected. i mean you do have to move on after it. if it goes well, then congrats ^^ hehe. good luck!!

you re a brave girl for doing it ^^

are you a girl?

 

[ur_inner_child]

I wouldn't say "I love you" to begin a relationship.

Baby steps. I'd ask them out first

(or kiss them first as I did with my last start of a relationship)

But yes, when I do feel it and I have a good feeling they love me too, yes.

 

[vorahk]

how about befriending them first? if its too random it might not work out too well.

 

[ElGronko]

I find the asking out game hilariously fun.

I like the subtle hints both parties make at first, and the not-a-date-go-to-the-movies-with-a-group-of-friends date, and the excuse to call them in order to "organise" that thing that you both just happen to be going to...

<3<3<3

 

[Skeeta]

i was with my boyfriend for 8 months before i told him i loved him.

 

[ur_inner_child]

I find the asking out game hilariously fun.

I like the subtle hints both parties make at first, and the not-a-date-go-to-the-movies-with-a-group-of-friends date, and the excuse to call them in order to "organise" that thing that you both just happen to be going to...

<3<3<3

I love it too. And I'm just recalling the feeling of having like a massive 4 hour talk in the middle of the night without realising you're racking up the phone bill, getting off the phone "you better sleep". "can I see you tomorrow?" "omg like you hang up first!" etc and hanging up.. You have to wake up in 2 or 3 hours but you can't even start sleeping because you've got that massive tingly OMG feeling and you can't wipe that smile off your face.

Awesome.