do you go out with someone a second time? (1 Viewer)

[tilda-lou]

hi there,
i was with this guy for a year,
then i broke it off a couple of months ago but i havnt got him out of my head since and he want to get back together,
i broke up with him coz i have issues closness of relationships.
i have had bad experiances in the past so i get scared and run.
hes trying to be friends with me at the moment but it freaks me out coz i know each time i see him that i want more then that again.
he is a beautiful person that was understanding of my feelings and i feel bad for dumping him the first time but its harder to see him now coz he has finished school and works down town,
but i really do like him
but i dont want to do it if its just going to end in us not talking
at the moment he keeps trying to bump into me and stuff and everyone tells me that he wont stop trying to get them to get me to see him,
but i get scared and run as i said,
committment is a big thing for me.
what do you guys think?
does it ever work a second time?

 

[Sweety pie12]

take it from a commitment phob herself
do it
work it out a second time but this time make it last
because you only find someone who loves you faults & all according to stats 3 times
THREE!!!

 

[morganforrest]

Yeah go for it...work hard at it and let him help you through your committment issues...i went out with my current best friend 5 times over the years....it does work second time...and third...and fourth...etc lol

 

[WiseGal]

I second the motion... it is better to have loved and lost rather than not to have loved at all... life is full of risks and if you don't risk, you won't be happy and successful ... if you get hurt, it strengthens you... there is always something that is good that will happen to you whether the relationship will last or not. Try it out and work hard for the person that you love.

 

[CieL]

I think you should spend some time and think about what you really want.

Do you really want a relationship at all?
There is no use in going into a r'ship, then breaking people's hearts..

Besides, there's heaps of time in the future for you to start committing.. you're still young, what.. 17? 18? 19?

He does sound like a nice person that really wants to make things work.

However, I have not been in your position, or have had problems with commitment, so I've never tried things a second time.. Hence I dont exactly know how you feel or how the next step should be.

 

[Omnidragon]

No I really don't like it when people do that... some of my friends do it and I find it very distasteful.

 

[Malazn Pleasure]

what do you guys think?
does it ever work a second time?

You can’t let him back into your life. He had his chance. It’s OK to turn down his invitation to go out, but it’s more effective to do it with a bit of humor. Here’s what you should have said: “I’d like to, honey, but there’s a Playmate shoot going on in my bathroom all next week and I can’t possibly break away. But thanks for asking.”

The point is that my two rules -- (1) being as cunning as a shark with him and (2) once it’s over, it’s over -- are enough to conduct yourself by.

So… your life is good except that you have a sour taste in your mouth from your breakup with him? That doesn’t sound like a contradiction to me!

When he e-mails you, delete it, and when you hear his voice on your voice mail, just press the button and go on to the next message. Soldier, you gotta be tough! Because let’s face it, the fact that he looks like Brad Pitts brother shouldn’t give him a pass.

It's time to walk away.

Remember, They only get one chance.

 

[Tulipa]

Eh, every time I've seen someone do the "second chance" thing, it's never worked.

If you think it will though, try it. Make sure he's interested though too.

 

[jumb]

he sent me emails with songs he has written about me, he has rang me and tryed to say what he knows needs to be done to make it work, he tells me he has this place in his heart that needs me, very sweet and corny at the same time, but i know he wants to try but my fobia of commitment is freaking high and telling me to run, but i dont want to miss a chance if it could be like it was with him when it was like it was before!
i havnt a clue what to do my friends dont know him enough to help, he was a year above, finished school last year and they didnt get to know him.

sounds like a stalker

 

[Tulipa]

DEAR GOD,

If you're going to whine about it like that, then you are very much not ready for it.

Being scared of commitment is something I'm very familiar with, it takes someone special to get over that. Now make an executive decision and run with it, stop fucking around. Either way it's going to be hard. There's not an easy way out, so go out with him or ignore him.

It's not quantum physics.

 

[tilda-lou]

yeah i just want some advice that isnt bias for a change, his friends say one thing so its difficult to know, and im doing circles with the decision and its not easy with him

 

[greMlin72]

personally.... if you broke it off, it's obviously not meant to work. He had his chance, he should get over it. If things didn't work out then, what makes you think it will work out now?
Besides, one day you will have to get over your phobia if you plan on marrying or alternativly, don't....
my opinion: MOVE ON!

 

[lengy]

READ THE FUCKING POST FIRST! SHE DIDN'T SAY SHE BROKE IT OFF BECAUSE OF SOMETHING HE DID! SHE BROKE IT OFF BECAUSE SHE IS AFRAID OF COMMITMENT! Fuck some of you people are shit. It didn't work out cause of HER! Not HIM! FFS PEOPLE.

 

[Retrovertigo]

take it from a commitment phob herself
do it
work it out a second time but this time make it last
because you only find someone who loves you faults & all according to stats 3 times
THREE!!!

This sounds like it's very accurate. I also trust things I read in Girlfriend magazine.

 

[greMlin72]

READ THE FUCKING POST FIRST! SHE DIDN'T SAY SHE BROKE IT OFF BECAUSE OF SOMETHING HE DID! SHE BROKE IT OFF BECAUSE SHE IS AFRAID OF COMMITMENT! Fuck some of you people are shit. It didn't work out cause of HER! Not HIM! FFS PEOPLE.

honestly mate...! breathe in!
spell it out.... B R E A T H E
i was not implying that HE had done something wrong, my point was that she broke it up... phobia or not, if you end a relationship i don't think you should get back in the same one.
FFS m8.

 

[lengy]

Why the fuck not?

 

[emuthegreat]

aww ! same happens to me, i dump the nicest guys because i have commitment problems, that's why single suits me .

but honestly, if you couldnt seen yourself committing the first time, the second time won't be much different. but you have to ask yourself, do you want a committed relationship or do you just want to go with the flow of things . Once that feelings of not being able to commit kicks in, you'll have doubts about the relationship and it might end the same way it did the first time .

If you really regretted it and wanted to be together, than you wouldn't be hesitating now and listing the pro and cons.

Spend some time with him, you might miss him but maybe not the same way he does, maybe you just miss his company and friendship .

Whatever you do, do it for yourself . NOT what or other people will think .

GOODLUCK

 

[テリー]

you never know, i'd say go for it and if 2nd time dont work 3rd, 4th, 5ths wont either so 2nd time is the last time i'd do it

 

[emuthegreat]

but if 2nd time doesnt work, chances of the friendship reconciling, is slim ..

but than again, lifes full of surprises .

 

[tilda-lou]

you guys are great help, i saw him at the show on the weekend it was weird to start off with but now i see that he is a great friends and stuff but i feel like something is missing when im with him and this makes being with him hard. i just dont get it... i regret it and it shouldnt be a hard decision like it is but he was easy as other guys just dont under stand as well as he does
you guys rock