Anononthehunt
Member
Warning: some graphic descriptions here.
I'm doing a look into the two Irish Bloody Sunday inquiries for my project and lord is it frustrating. I don't mean at a writing level, I mean at a.. i don't know, a more personal level.
For example I just read about a woman who had her body crushed beneath the wheels of an armoured car, a man who leapt in front of another man in attempt to save him only for a soldier's bullet to rip right through him and enter into the body of the man he was trying to protect thus killing them both, and a 17 year old who played dead and felt the impact of a gunshot entering his friend's spine beside him on the ground who was already dead.
And I'm meant to.. talk about the historiographical concepts. About the inquiry into that. And about historians debating about it.
It just feels so perverse, like these people fucking died and suffered in horrible ways, and BOTH inquiries don't prosecute the British Army troops who did it, and I?? Can't even say anything about it???????? I just need to talk about Von Runke and Ian McBride and whoever the hell else to get some stupid marks to complete this stupid NESA exam and I can't even tell the examiners about the fact that the Museum of Free Derry houses the belt of one of the victims in a museum so you can see where it clipped the leather as it tore into him. The youngest girl killed was eight years old and I'm meant to talk about the fucking purposes of history. As if anything I could say wouldn't be a gross overgeneralisation to such a vile attack. As if anything I say or quote from could bring back the people killed - or even bring those who did it to justice.
Academia doesn't feel good enough to express the emotions I have towards this event. Art, maybe, or writing. Trying to do concise, polite, soulless academic work about this feels like being a vulture pecking at corpses.
I'm doing a look into the two Irish Bloody Sunday inquiries for my project and lord is it frustrating. I don't mean at a writing level, I mean at a.. i don't know, a more personal level.
For example I just read about a woman who had her body crushed beneath the wheels of an armoured car, a man who leapt in front of another man in attempt to save him only for a soldier's bullet to rip right through him and enter into the body of the man he was trying to protect thus killing them both, and a 17 year old who played dead and felt the impact of a gunshot entering his friend's spine beside him on the ground who was already dead.
And I'm meant to.. talk about the historiographical concepts. About the inquiry into that. And about historians debating about it.
It just feels so perverse, like these people fucking died and suffered in horrible ways, and BOTH inquiries don't prosecute the British Army troops who did it, and I?? Can't even say anything about it???????? I just need to talk about Von Runke and Ian McBride and whoever the hell else to get some stupid marks to complete this stupid NESA exam and I can't even tell the examiners about the fact that the Museum of Free Derry houses the belt of one of the victims in a museum so you can see where it clipped the leather as it tore into him. The youngest girl killed was eight years old and I'm meant to talk about the fucking purposes of history. As if anything I could say wouldn't be a gross overgeneralisation to such a vile attack. As if anything I say or quote from could bring back the people killed - or even bring those who did it to justice.
Academia doesn't feel good enough to express the emotions I have towards this event. Art, maybe, or writing. Trying to do concise, polite, soulless academic work about this feels like being a vulture pecking at corpses.