Cheating: What would you do? (1 Viewer)

[alexvincent]

Say you had a friend and you knew that their bf/gf was cheating on them. Do you tell him/her or not get involved at all?

Say there's a couple and you are really close friends to both of them and one is cheating on the other. Do you tell the one being cheated on?

 

[ur_inner_child]

1st scenario I tell them straight out. You have obligations to your friend, they should rightly know.

2nd scenario is more complicated. You need to talk to the one that's cheating and urge them to admit it to the other. Explain to them how it is affecting you, considering you are the one in the middle.

I've been in the second scenario once and I hated that. Backfired in a massive way, where the cheater did not give a shit, and the person who got cheated on refused to believe me. (He came crawling back after)

You just have to guess their reaction, depending on who they are, whether you should get involved or not. Nowadays I stay entirely out of it by keeping my social circles apart.

 

[jest]

if i was 100% convinced that they were cheating, then i would tell. but first i'd ask the one that's being cheated on, a hypothetical question ie "if you knew that your friend's bf/gf was cheating on them.." just to see what their opinion is, if they'd want to know

 

[ur_inner_child]

Plus this bullshit about "ignorance is bliss".

I consider being in a relationship while not knowing that your partner is cheating as time wasting.

 

[ur_inner_child]

If they were your friends, Dan?

Jesus. If my boyfriend was cheating on me and my friends knew and DIDNT TELL ME?!

Waste how many years of my life?

*death*

 

[Davriel]

Say you had a friend and you knew that their bf/gf was cheating on them. Do you tell him/her or not get involved at all?

Say there's a couple and you are really close friends to both of them and one is cheating on the other. Do you tell the one being cheated on?

In either case they will never believe you, as love blinds most people. However, I've had some luck in exposing the cheating by having my friend see what happens with their own eyes. If both are close friends I still do the same thing.

 

[ur_inner_child]

I know no one wants to be that guy. But the obilgation is there. Make it personal, dan.

I'm positive you'd expect this sort of loyalty from me if I knew something.

Or would you rather stay in ignorance?

 

[Season]

Happened just recently to me, had to tell a friend that my other friend was a dickhead, and ended a 18 month relationship.

She believed me but its hard, unfortunately everybody in the small town knows every single detail.


Second situation
Try to confront the cheater and go from there I guess, unless I was really really really good friends with them, I'd probably stay far away from this one.

 

[sk1001]

The answer is simple.

Eamon - Fuck it.

 

[alexvincent]

2nd scenario is more complicated. You need to talk to the one that's cheating and urge them to admit it to the other. Explain to them how it is affecting you, considering you are the one in the middle.

You just have to guess their reaction, depending on who they are, whether you should get involved or not. Nowadays I stay entirely out of it by keeping my social circles apart.

I'm in the 2nd scenario and my instinct was to tell the cheatee. I thought that if I confronted the cheater he/she would deny it, cover his/her tracks and convince the other before I get the chance to talk to the cheatee.

if i was 100% convinced that they were cheating, then i would tell. but first i'd ask the one that's being cheated on, a hypothetical question ie "if you knew that your friend's bf/gf was cheating on them.." just to see what their opinion is, if they'd want to know

I want to ask but it's a difficult situation, I have to work it into a conversation. Because if out of nowhere I ask that question they will know that I know something.

 

[Skeeta]

If you KNOW, tell them.. 100%

If you have an inkling, confront them.

IF YOU HEARD OFF A FRIEND OF A FRIEND, WHO'S FRIEND WAS AT THE PARTY (but was stoned, drunk and a pathological liar) - FIND OUT FOR SURE FIRST, check your sources, and THINK!

Seriously, I have been accused, of cheating. Which I have NEVER done, and for someone to confront your boyfriend, on his birthday, when he is in another state because he is attending his GRANDMOTHERS FUNERAL, is a terrible thing. ESPECIALLY if you just heard a dirty rumour. Which is not true.


However, i believe all cheaters should be caught out

 

[Cykologi_gal]

I'd be careful here, I wooo....uullld tell, but after I make sure that she/he's not going to murder the messenger for one thing, or charge to his/her gf/bf's house and start fighting. If they become psycho then it might be my fault.

I wouldn't tell them what I know out of the blue in situation 2. Maybe send them anonymous letters?! Cool movie plot.

 

[alexvincent]

im in that situation rihgt now

i stay out of it, and have no problems sleeping at night as a result


none of my business either way, and im not going to get in the middle of something like that.

My mate is getting cheated on by his gf who I am also close to. I feel a really strong obligation to my mate to tell him, because if he is being lied to, or his trust is being violated, I feel it too. Know what I mean?

Don't you feel that way? I find it hard to remain indifferent.

 

[AlleyCat]

I'd want to know, so I would definately tell them, no matter if they were both my friends.

 

[timlay]

i stayed out of it. although i sorta knew what was going on. i didn't think it was really 'cheating' . but the friend was just being insecure, asked around and found out her bf was with another girl.. ( like. the guy lied to my friend) so then, they split.


i got the blame for not talking from the girl side. i got the blame for telling from the guy side.

shucks. but oh well, that was ages agoooo.

 

[Tommo90]

If you don't tell, you're risking a trustworthy friendship with a friend that didn't make a mistake (the one being cheated on) and if they find out you knew and kept quiet it would suck.

If you do tell, the mistake is ultimately with the cheater and is THEIR fault that it happened, not your fault they didn't get away with it.

You might need to toss up between many different circumstances.

There is no real answer to what you should do, just what feels right I guess.

 

[nick1048]

In my humble experience you just simply shut the fuck up because the party who gets screwed over is the one that sticks their nose where it does not belong.

 

[S1M0]

I wouldn't care.

I mean, its all gonna end in heartbreak one way or another, so whats the point?

 

[Redgoddess]

I think in the first circumstance, where I wasn't friends with the cheater but I knew about what they were doing, I'd find it hard not to tell my friend I guess, partially because I'm a shit liar and if they found out about it, I have a feeling it'd be obvious I'd known and hadn't told, which would probs get me in the shit.

If I was friends with both of them...I don't have a fucking clue.

Here's a question though - what would you do if a close friend was cheating on her b/f, who you knew *vaguely* but didn't really talk to/have a relationship with, and you knew about it? Stay the fuck out of it? I reckon that's the way to go, worked when I was in that situation...

 

[Ingoesout]

Good god do you have a desire to become a human punching bag? If not then Stay away, stay far far away, run away, heck jump on a shinkansen and speed on out of there in style. Choo choo.

Don't be around and you dont risk the whole "raa raa raa YOU ruined my life, I was so happy cut cut cut why why why bitch bitch bitch" .. and that can come from both sides.
Oh and don't forget other friends then going to you for all information on the scandal. And ofcourse be expected to be used as a medium for the two hurt parties to abuse each other, make up...

holy fuck, bad memories. Be smart. Stay out.