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Cheating and forgiving? (1 Viewer)

chicken1

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hey guys just wondering what you would do if u found out that your partner had cheated on you in the past and remained in contact with them and possibly secretly met up with them.
i always thought i would tell him where to shove it...but my heart says i love him! its so hard...what does everyone think?
 

PrettyVacant

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He obviously doesn't care about you enough to be faithful. Really, reconsider how much you "love"(lust) him.
 

nwatts

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ah, yeah, i don't think i could forgive something like that. you may still love the dude, but think about whether you want to try and sustain a relationship with someone who clearly doesn't love you to the same degree.

meh it's your choice.
 

sam04u

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Listen, he may have fucked her... But, HE MAKES LURVEEE TO YOU!
Follow your heart.
 

sam04u

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nwatts said:
ah, yeah, i don't think i could forgive something like that. you may still love the dude, but think about whether you want to try and sustain a relationship with someone who clearly doesn't love you to the same degree.

meh it's your choice.
Dude... don't... She'll dump me.
 

blueeyesguy

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It depends on how long u have been going out with him if its like a month or less id say dump his ass lol he obviously doesnt care :) .Also something that isnt very clear has he actually done anything with his ex i mean i know this sounds cliched but its possible for males and females to just be friends. If it bothers you that much and he cares about you just discuss it with him personally that's what id do but dont take my advice my longest relationship is just over a month :p
 

vafa

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chicken1 said:
hey guys just wondering what you would do if u found out that your partner had cheated on you in the past and remained in contact with them and possibly secretly met up with them.
i always thought i would tell him where to shove it...but my heart says i love him! its so hard...what does everyone think?
Before making and decision, in my point of view you need to do two things.

1. Ask yourself if you still love him deeply
2. Talk to him and realise that he still loves you or not

If I personally was in your place and see that both answers are yes, I would keep loving him because love is always beautiful and obviously we are human beings and we make some mistakes. then I would forgive him and I am sure if you do this then he will notice how deep you love him.

but if one of these answeres is no, I would not stay with him any more.
 

quik.

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I wouldn't stay with someone who had cheated on me, for much the same reasons as people have already stated.

It demonstrates a lack of commitment, control and respect really. If you like someone else, break it off with your partner before acting on it. It's not that hard.
 

azzie

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i've been in this situation and i thought i loved the guy too, and that he'd just made a mistake.

but nobody can make that much of a mistake, especially if you love and trust them. they have the responsibility to you to remain faithful, and if they can't even do that, how can you trust them or rely on them for other things?

fidelity is one of the basics. if you don't have it you can't build a strong, happy relationship.
 

scarybunny

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I would tell my bf to fuck off if he cheated. If he doesn't have the self control, or the love/respect for me that he should have, then he can jolly well bugger off.

Even if you love him, it really does matter that he feels the same. Cheating suggests that he doesn't. It also suggests that he's a bastard with no self-control. Kick him to tha curb, sista! [/end blackness]
 

lengy

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He doesn't respect you. It's no better than a one way relationship. He's just keeping you around. Maybe he does like you, but not enough not to cheat on you. Seems the only problem is that you have feelings for him still. Break up with him, get over him, it's better this way than having to put up with more of his crap later on. If you stay, you're asking for more heartache.
 

ashimation

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chicken1 said:
hey guys just wondering what you would do if u found out that your partner had cheated on you in the past and remained in contact with them and possibly secretly met up with them.
i always thought i would tell him where to shove it...but my heart says i love him! its so hard...what does everyone think?


Did he tell you he cheated or did you find out? I think that if they come clean it is more forgivable than covering it up and THEN you finding out....


But that aside, no one can really answer your question for you... because none of us actually know him and the details of your relationship.
 

Atticus.

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uh uh girlfriend you need to kick his jigaboo ass to the curb, aint no man gon be treating a sister like dis
 

ur_inner_child

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Well I just imagined being in your shoes.... and that my boyfriend of 3 years started cheating on me.

I would never forgive him.

None of this "depends on how long its been".
 

vafa

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ur_inner_child said:
Well I just imagined being in your shoes.... and that my boyfriend of 3 years started cheating on me.

I would never forgive him.

None of this "depends on how long its been".
Good point but have you also imagined if you were the one who cheated on him, then what would he do? Would you really want him to leave you or to forgive you?

Leaving is not that much easy. Once I love someone then I can not leave her. Forgiveness is always a sign of your character and you can forgive if you still love him and if he still loves you and what happened is just a mistake.
 

ur_inner_child

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He'd probably do the same.

Basically the guy lives with me so he could easily just go home and get the same booty call. I could say the same with couples who don't live with eachother.

If I cheated on him and he wanted to leave me and never speak to me again, trust me, I don't blame him.

It may be just a mistake but all this bullshit about trust and loyalty and a whole inferior complex would absolutely get to me, no doubt it will get to him if it were vice versa. I would most definatley read into the fact that he had me out of his mind when he went and kissed or sexed someone else.

I will only love someone who treats me right. It might be hard to get over, but there are other obstacles in a relationship you already must overcome and this whole cheating situation is not a necessity.

Its just self respect.
 

vafa

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ur_inner_child said:
He'd probably do the same.

Basically the guy lives with me so he could easily just go home and get the same booty call. I could say the same with couples who don't live with eachother.

If I cheated on him and he wanted to leave me and never speak to me again, trust me, I don't blame him.

It may be just a mistake but all this bullshit about trust and loyalty and a whole inferior complex would absolutely get to me, no doubt it will get to him if it were vice versa. I would most definatley read into the fact that he had me out of his mind when he went and kissed or sexed someone else.

I will only love someone who treats me right. It might be hard to get over, but there are other obstacles in a relationship you already must overcome and this whole cheating situation is not a necessity.

Its just self respect.
You did not answer my question?
If you cheated on him, what would he do and would you really want him to leave you or to forgive you?

and remember love and passion are quite different...!
i never have been in a relationship honestly because I have grown up in a traditional and religous family but if i was fallen in love, then i would do anything to make her happy even by loosing my own life. and if she cheated on me, at first I would feel so bad or probably I would cry but because i love her then I would forgive her and not leave her.
 
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jhakka

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Of course you would want to be forgiven. What you want and what you would expect are completely different things.
 

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