Please note that this thread is closed for accepting further submissions due to a recent influx in my PMs in particular. I really enjoy checking out your writing, though, so check out my new thread, which offers marking with value for money...
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Look no further than Easy A Marking Service (all forms of writing are accepted)! What started out as a casual lockdown project has proven to be...
Strengths:
- Very explicit addressment of the question in the very first sentence of your essay
- Good use of context
- Good concluding sentence in last body para
Opportunities to improve:
- Integrate quotes into your sentences similar to how newspapers do - break them up into chunks
- Follow...
Much better intro. I especially like the very first sentence, which directly links with your syllabus. One suggestion I'd make is to be more explicit about what each body paragraph will discuss, because I'm just a bit unclear about this. I feel like the last two sentences cover six things in...
Strengths:
- Good quote integration
- Good point of the paragraph, but you just need to solidify the PEEL structure (or whatever acronym you use) more
Opportunities to improve:
- Some grammar issues here and there; please brush up on grammar foundations
- In your topic sentence, you talk about...
Strengths:
- Really like how you synthesised all three characters' individual experiences with one thing they have in common, rather than just discussing them as separate entities
Opportunities to improve:
- Make sure you explicitly address ALL aspects of the question in your thesis statement...
Strengths:
- Excellent command of the English language. Very few expression, spelling, grammar or punctuation errors, and points are conveyed clearly
- Excellent conclusion sentence in your last para that links very well to the question
Opportunities to improve:
- Avoid retelling the story...
cont.
Strengths:
- Good use of techniques
- Good understanding of the novel
- I like how you explored both Christopher's internal conflicts and conflicts with others
Opportunities to improve:
- Quotes are way too long. Ideally, split them up into the parts you want to emphasise techniques in...
Hi,
I'm not offering a free essay-writing service. This is a free essay-MARKING service. I do not encourage anyone to solicit others to write their essays for them. If you have already written any paragraph/s, please feel free to drop them here so that I can give you feedback. :)
I've given you enough strengths and opportunities to improve already, so here are just some closing general comments:
- Always write out numbers as words in the subject of English
- Good use of obscure quotes! I can't even find the quote "no bird" on Google, so you've either done some thorough...
Strengths:
- I see you have put a concerted effort to follow the rubric, which is great
- Some really high-quality, in-depth analysis with specific techniques
- Some good quote integration, but see below on how to make it consistently great!
Opportunities to improve:
- Work on your quote...
I'm commenting on one paragraph at a time. Please bear with me :)
Strengths:
- You have used some great vocab here - really like your use of words like "anachronistic" and contextual words like "theocracy" and "puritan"
- You have a well-sustained argument that consistently addresses your very...
Not accepting submissions via this thread anymore due to a recent influx in my PMs in particular. I really enjoy checking out your writing, though, so check out my new thread, which offers marking with value for money...