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  • Fine, i will try and stop showering with material things, and yes they pale in comparison to real life, but i cant help myself.

    For what it's worth, and to me, it means a hell of a lot, i'm sitting here. drunk, listening to sad songs, feeling fat, reminiscing and pondering the future, and for some reason despite the melancholic alcohol, and god awfully depressing songs, i can't muster any great sense of sadness, all i can do is think of you and my hopes and dreams for the future, you are so, so, so far removed from anybody i thought i'd end up with, but i couldn't be happier, you bring back to me a sense of optimist that i thought i'd lost forever and wipe away the cynicism and bitterness that i have worn with a badge of honour for so long.
    but i love you and want to shower you in pretty things! :p

    And if you want me to be more self confident, which i will try, i want you to acknowledge you deserve everything i give you, emotionally at least. Maybe i physically express my feelings for you moreson than with other friends, and maybe i verbalise it more too, but the basic way i treat you is how i treat all of my good friends, and you are certainly one of them. The only difference between you and my best friend is that when i think about the future, instead of wishing that you have every happiness in the world, i'm wishing that those every happinesses are one's we've built together.
    And I don't spoil you! you wont let me spoil you! Albeit, I do want to spend $250 to get you those pretty rainbow winged shoes, but they are so pretty and are probably the first vaguely artistic thing we have agreed upon :p
    BAHAHAHAHA, i just saw how many people you invited, my my you are keen. I hope you can actually make it! I don't have enough extroversion to handle 25 gays.
    I would love too but I can't make Saturday 2PM - I have tutoring...
    I'm still keen though, so invite me to the next one!

    PS. I don't own anything red lol
    Money probably doesn't make you happy because well..I mean like, if you ask Townie and probably you have noticed this yourself I come across as a tad spoiled. And well, I was haha I grew up pretty well and sometimes I miss that lifestyle where you don't have to clean up after yourself and there is someone else who will do the housework for you...although when I get burnt out from studying, I say perhaps I'll be happy in a small house by the beach. A small house by the beach can cost like $200,000...thats not a lot of money, is it? =/

    You may not want Broadway stardom, but you like music....you could wind up to be like Nirvana, except without the horrid death. :p Even that kind of stardom would be great, stardom in general is like....w00t! XD

    So I see two people already can't come to our get-together..hmmmm lol
    If you were one of those kids, I'm very sorry! XD Opps!!! This is like when I insulted Christians and you're like "I'm Christian..."....I'm like "Shit!" haha but I did actually mean heavy catholics because a lot of people I've met that are so nice are Christian and not against gay marriage and shit so I like them. :p A lot of heavy Catholics are against gay marriage so I dislike them lol...maybe I should just say I dislike people against gay marriage.
    I thought it was what I wanted to do, but now I'm not so sure.....my old dreams of stardom...if not, at least a shitload of money are coming back to haunt me. That, and just volunteering at the zoo has just been very discouraging. I just don't like the work environment or the people and am intimidated by the passion and knowledge some of those zookeepers have....I didn't know there were different classifications of giraffes, and just all the info is overwhelming and I don't know..I just don't like the people lol. Plus a lot of the degrees I'm thinking of taking involving zookeeping have chemistry (not my strong point..I barely get biology) and get this..I went to this tutor on Saturday for biology, he just met me and after the session he was like you will struggle with chem and I'm like..."gee, thanks...not what i needed to hear" ha so i'm quite discouraged.
    still... i'm... how you say....

    self concious... i dont know lol

    and i needa work cus im paying for uni and stuff myself
    well like i said, i've got work :(
    if it was on a different day, i might be able to drop by after uni... then again, i'm really shy =/
    Anyway, yeah I actually don't mind noisy kids.....my nephews are noisy and rowdy but they're good fun...they're not jerks who don't do what you say to piss you off and are purposely rude to you. Those kind of kids should be shoved back up their mother's.....

    I just can't help but feel I am getting more and more miserable..not the kind of miserable where one is depressed (I'm quite alright actually), but the kind of miserable where you just don't feel like doing anything. Dude I slept yesterday from like 8pm to 3am...got up for a few hours, went back to bed at 6am or something and slept until 6pm...sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing, because pursuing what I am pursuing does not seem to make me all that happy. =/
    Oh, how I wish I had the voice to sing on Broadway.....and the dancing skills lol. I wish I had those parents that lived their stardom dreams through their children so I would've have been forced to take ballet, singing lessons and shit from an early age. So I feel like it's too late for me to catch up and yeah, just me knowing that I don't have the voice for Broadway..speaking of which, did you check out that Tom Ugly band? I emailed you the link..and I'm going to send you one of their older songs which is the kinda sound I wanna be going for except perhaps slightly heavier.

    You can also download it here:
    YouSendIt: Online File Sharing and collaboration with FTP Replacement - Send Large Files and Email Attachments with Managed File Transfer Solution
    Thing is though where is this place I "wannna be"? All zookeepers do is clean shit and make food for the animals....oh, and talk to people about the different animals. Yes, I find the zoo animals nice to look at but I don't think I would want to look after them on a daily basis especially with the pay one gets for doing so.
    LMFAO, in the last post I almost wrote "I think I'll be painting children's faeces".....BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    Babysitting? Aww thats cute..well hopefully you got a good kid. When you're babysitting a sweetheart, it's a nice way to spend the night, ESPECIALLY if you get them to bed early because then you can spend the whole night watching TV..even if you don't, you can play a lot of fun games with them, kids are pretty entertaining/funny/adorable just as long as they have some manners..if they're a brat, hang them on a hook. ;)
    Haha, I still think I wasted my time that day at the zoo..although to be fair, I did meet some nice people..I seem to get along with my 14-16 year old colleagues, which I think may reflect on my maturity. Lol but they made me laugh and I was able to bitch and make stupid jokes like when I was holding a balloon in place with one finger (cuz I'm such a diva) as one of the guys paper mached it I said "I'm helping him by fingering the balloon" and get LAUGHS. I'm going again on Thursday to help out, starting at 8am..fuck me dead, please. I think I'll be painting children's faces and stuff, so as long as they're polite I'll be fine lol.
    Flying foxes?....lol And Alex was there to laugh at your falling?...wow, so he is now being invited to family parties!? Damn...lol...or were you both laughing at my zoo rant? XD

    I'm not too big on phone sex either...I end up just laughing at the noises they make haha but yeah that really was just like "wtf?!"...but yeah, I guess I should be happy that I at least did a good job. Though I'm not sure what I did lol, I just showed up really.

    Anyway yeah...gay meeting, gay meeting....yeah I meant next upcoming Saturday.....I'm tired lol, I went to see a movie with a friend so I'm just like spaced out. Did you ever see "The Time Traveler's Wife"??
    And get this, the guy I saw yesterday texted me and essentially was like "I enjoyed rimming your ass". Not "I enjoyed your company", not "you seem like a nice guy".....no, just that he enjoyed sticking his tongue up my %@^.

    Charming. Fucking charming.

    I'm okay though btw, I'm relatively happy. XD But really, I should've seen this coming when he JO'ed on the phone whilst I was talking to him and I was just on the other end like "....having fun there?...okay...damn what you're imagining sounds really good, hope I don't disappoint..."...if you're both doing it, that is one thing but when one of you just starts doing it that is just rude.
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