I learned something:
This thread has been nothing more than me trying to prove that you can do anything that you focus on, however, if you pay a little more attention to at least the things that you WANT, then you’ll be able to direct that focus towards something that feels fulfilling by the end of it’s accomplishment.
I didn’t want to run a marathon, become a professional artist, study programming for 12 hours straight on a day off, meet up with my childhood semi-crush who was my neighbour, or do body building.
What I was doing was just a bunch of things that I made myself think HAD TO BE DONE, even though they weren’t things my heart believed in.
Sure, anything is possible, but that doesn’t mean you then have to start doing everything.
There is no such thing as ‘have to’, if you want to, then do that. You only have one shot at this life, and although cliched, it’s real - Make the most of it and enjoy every moment of it.
So… what will I do in the future for this thread?
I have no plans this time, so I’ll have to go by gut instinct.
If I have something I want to do, I’ll just jump right into it.
Right now, my gut feeling is a little tied up, and that’s because I don’t have any particular thing I’m paying attention to for long enough for me to feel as though it’s special, and have it become the only thing that is within my view of existence.
(This isn’t obsession, for that is purely a recycling of thoughts, it’s observation, which is to see something and experience it as a part of your life.)
So, I’ll be consciously trying to self-inspire myself, and go all into it.
Below are the list of things I keep thinking of in a cycle (meaning that I am currently an obsessor, rather than an observer), because I want to give them all the light of day to pay attention to, but one at a time:
- My future wife (devotion towards this saving grace will have me do all sorts of things, once again, in order to become her future husband.) - skill requirement for devotion is a God-Tier imagination.
- Game Design (…actually, I don’t think I care about this one. I’m studying it right now for college and my first career is probably going to be working as a game designer, but I’d be about just as happy as working at McDonald’s if I’m totally honest. I won’t force myself to pay attention to it until it reveals itself to me as something that’s inspiring. In the end, a job is a job, and money isn’t an aspiration of mine either, so I have no hierarchy of jobs to pursue.).
- The Ideal World (I know for a fact that my future wife ties into this, and so does myself. In order to create the fantasy that I desire most to come into reality, I’ll need to do all sorts of things. Of course, this story isn’t purely a romance, so my future wife is one major aspect, but there are many aspects. The other aspects are; … I’ve never actually thought about this before… Ok, I’m definitely on the right track, because I feel like I need yo understand this in order to untie my gut. “It’s not about you kid, it’s about them.” - some cowboy from the movie Rango. I bring that up because it’s a good reminder that you shouldn’t ever be making yourself as big as your world/universe, since it’s impossible and by your very nature, you are nothing in comparison to The Ideal World, for The Ideal World is your everything, your view of existence. You can’t have yourself be apart of the things to consider as otherworldly, for otherworldly things are alien, and if you become an alien to yourself, everything as you know it can shatter. No, I’m not referring to narssasism, I personally prefer that because from experience, it’s a great feeling, and to be narsasistic in a way that has zero flaws, you should have your grounded view of existence and what is alien to you, but feel special that you’re the one at the centre of something grand and mysterious, because no matter how much knowledge you know, you should never undermine the otherworldly nature of the things you pay attention to. This is what I call “Humble Narcissism”.).