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Advice (4 Viewers)

Chevalier

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I just turned 18 and I still haven't either... It's a cruel world.

EDIT: Sober. Not counting the times I was intoxicated.
This. And it just seems to me unfathomable that this is the norm among young adults, just what is the dividing line, in terms of the effort required (on both sides) in initiating a relationship as opposed to just having casual flings? I hope u'll excuse my naivete, for ignorance should be no obstacle if one is in the pursuit of worldly knowledge. Also this has got to be the most entertaining thread I've ever read on BoS. And the put downs never seem to get old :p
 
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Shadowdude

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Casual fling = based on the physical side of things
Relationship = based on the emotional side of things

Perhaps?
 

Chevalier

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Casual fling = based on the physical side of things
Relationship = based on the emotional side of things

Perhaps?
that much I know, but how about the effort needed to initiate one? Plenty of guys think theyr'e the s@#$ and can get any girl they want, but we're all very ordinary ppl here. Some claim its really easy, but what would I know? I'm 18, and I've never been in any relationship at all, sensual or not. Btw it may come across as weird but I'm just asking questions in my ambivalent tone just for the heck of it, I've enjoyed reading the comments and just had to say something even if it doesn't contribute to the discussion.
 

Shadowdude

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that much I know, but how about the effort needed to initiate one? Plenty of guys think theyr'e the s@#$ and can get any girl they want, but we're all very ordinary ppl here. Some claim its really easy, but what would I know? I'm 18, and I've never been in any relationship at all, sensual or not. Btw it may come across as weird but I'm just asking questions in my ambivalent tone just for the heck of it, I've enjoyed reading the comments and just had to say something even if it doesn't contribute to the discussion.
Well... I'd think that it depends. If you're a very attractive woman you'll find that lots of guys will flock to you in theory.

What probably happens in practice is that most guys don't even bother to approach the really attractive girls because they assume they probably already have boyfriends - and they wouldn't have a chance with them. And the same if we switch genders around.

After that stumbling block it really depends on how compatible you are. If you're a very personable and friendly person - you'll 'click' with more people. If you're more closeted and reserved, you won't find you'll have that instant connection with that many people.

Or at least, I think that's how it works.
 

Dr_Fresh

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theres a phrase we use in medicine which i think demonstrates this scenario perfectly.

"to see learn medicine without books is to sail an uncharted sea, but to learn medicine without seeing patients is to not go to sea at all"
 

Chevalier

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Well... I'd think that it depends. If you're a very attractive woman you'll find that lots of guys will flock to you in theory.

What probably happens in practice is that most guys don't even bother to approach the really attractive girls because they assume they probably already have boyfriends - and they wouldn't have a chance with them. And the same if we switch genders around.

After that stumbling block it really depends on how compatible you are. If you're a very personable and friendly person - you'll 'click' with more people. If you're more closeted and reserved, you won't find you'll have that instant connection with that many people.

Or at least, I think that's how it works.
Story of my life haha. Ah well I still hold out hope that things'll change. Thing's change little by little and I'd like to think they're changing right now, it's just that I don't know it yet. Browsing reddit FA really did teach me some things in loneliness, and I thought I had it bad o_0 But I'm past my depressive, antisocial stage anyhow and am just bored, hence this is my long awaited homecoming to BoS
 

Shadowdude

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Story of my life haha. Ah well I still hold out hope that things'll change. Thing's change little by little and I'd like to think they're changing right now, it's just that I don't know it yet. Browsing reddit FA really did teach me some things in loneliness, and I thought I had it bad o_0 But I'm past my depressive, antisocial stage anyhow and am just bored, hence this is my long awaited homecoming to BoS
You'll find just talking to the random girl you see places does wonders. You should do it.
 

Chevalier

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You'll find just talking to the random girl you see places does wonders. You should do it.
haha I never said anything about being too shy to front up to girls. A name and a few pleasantries strung together into what should amount to be a small conversation is the most I usually get out of them though, it's building upon that first meeting that's harder for me. I know plenty of ppl, friends of friends, I remember their names and I could easily contact them over FB but deliberately choose not to.
 
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Shadowdude

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haha I never said anything about being too shy to front up to girls. A name and a few pleasantries strung together into what should amount to be a small conversation is the most I usually get out of them though, it's building upon that first meeting that's harder for me. I know plenty of ppl, friends of friends, I remember their names and I could easily contact them over FB but deliberately choose not to.
Well don't talk to them over FB, talk to them in RL! FB is just like... a pleasantry to show that the other person doesn't completely repulse you. If you see them again at uni, stop by, talk for a couple of minutes. You know...

And settle for girls within your league to avoid disappointment.
And if you're not sure what league you're in yet - play lots of games-- err, I mean, talk to lots of girls.
 

Chevalier

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Well don't talk to them over FB, talk to them in RL! FB is just like... a pleasantry to show that the other person doesn't completely repulse you. If you see them again at uni, stop by, talk for a couple of minutes. You know...
Uh, yeah I don't talk to them over FB cause that's just predatory, a friend request and pm coming straight outta the blue from a guy they know only on a first name basis and one they met for the first time just a few days ago xD And yes I do talk to them when I see them around campus, and I do happen to have quite a number of female friends, and acquaintances, just none of them being good friends of mine, as I admit I'm more of a "bro-tier" friend (not sure if a term like that even exists). But heck Shadow I'm in the same boat as u insofar as relationships go :p
 
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Arcorn

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Well... I'd think that it depends. If you're a very attractive woman you'll find that lots of guys will flock to you in theory.

What probably happens in practice is that most guys don't even bother to approach the really attractive girls because they assume they probably already have boyfriends - and they wouldn't have a chance with them. And the same if we switch genders around.

After that stumbling block it really depends on how compatible you are. If you're a very personable and friendly person - you'll 'click' with more people. If you're more closeted and reserved, you won't find you'll have that instant connection with that many people.

Or at least, I think that's how it works.
I don't find this is the case, most people go for the attractive ones but it's rare that they have a good personality because they can reel in the other sex with their appearance.
 

Chevalier

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I don't find this is the case, most people go for the attractive ones but it's rare that they have a good personality because they can reel in the other sex with their appearance.
true dat, altho to the inexperienced eye such as mine, the absolute vast majority of girls I see around campus all seem to have a subtle charm in their apperance but I guess its cause all that fit the bill I've set out seem to dress nicely. But then again I am just oh so very inexperienced
 

LonelyWolf

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Well don't talk to them over FB, talk to them in RL! FB is just like... a pleasantry to show that the other person doesn't completely repulse you. If you see them again at uni, stop by, talk for a couple of minutes. You know...



And if you're not sure what league you're in yet - play lots of games-- err, I mean, talk to lots of girls.
how come you live so far away from UNSW? you should have gone to another, closer uni
 

Haemolymph

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Saddening? No, I just had better things to do. Like sleep, or write.
You're a guy, nothing should be mor important to you than getting vag. Or dick if you swing that way?

I think you're confusing him with aznboystar.
They all look the same to me.


Heads up to all the Asians in this thread: Girls want sex and relationships just as much as guys do you just need to learn to talk to them.
 

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