Single.. Who has never had a Girlfriend/boyfriend? (3 Viewers)

[slackerbitch]

Don't lie to us

The real reason you can't get a boyfriend is that no one likes a bitch who doesn't know when to shut up.

Oh yes, you are quite correct. Although I believe that bitch WAS in fact on my original list of reasons.

 

[Bendeguz]

I've never had a boyfriend... I think it's just because I don't fit into the typical 'woman' social archetype of slutty obedient slave.

I apologise to go a bit off topic, but have to know. I hope you do think me to forward in asking this, but are you a man or a woman Not-That-Bright?

 

[white lady]

I apologise to go a bit off topic, but have to know. I hope you do think me to forward in asking this, but are you a man or a woman Not-That-Bright?

does it really matter????????

 

[Kwayera]

I apologise to go a bit off topic, but have to know. I hope you do think me to forward in asking this, but are you a man or a woman Not-That-Bright?

He is neither man nor woman. His waveform has not yet collapsed.

 

[Bendeguz]

There where request earlier on for the full version of my Analysis. That little section was specially tailored from point form to make me look smarter and gain your admiration . But here is the full, unedited version, and although I thought of making it all fancy for your viewing pleasure like my previous, I honestly can not be buggered, to put it crudely.

So, feast your eyes on this quality example of analytical self-pity (kind of like mixing an emo and logic).

Analysis on why Bendegúz is Doomed to Eternal Romantic Loneliness

External unattractiveness of Bendeguz
Physical Unattractiveness:
--> Short.
--> Thinning hair
--> Possesses a hard, cold and serious profile - not warm and enjoyable.
--> Rather acne blotched face.
--> Doesn’t have a nice smile.

Bendeguz is conservative choice in clothing:
--> He is the only person in my school who not only wears their uniform with pride and keeps it neat, but is also the only one to wear a blazer properly.
--> Wears braces by preference. Not ‘cool’ ones with fancy colours/pattern’s/brands/etc. but simple grey, black or white ones.
--> Choice of headwear ranges from a trilby (aka Fedora for those American inclined) in the winter and a pith helmet in summer (with full safari uniform to compliment). No baseball caps, tea-cosy’s, etc.
--> Prefers to wear suit & tie to teenage house parties.
--> Doesn’t own a single pair of jeans, t-shirt with a logo, sport shoes or any other pair of poplar clothing. - prefers simple shirts, trousers, and nicely tied up sensible leather shoes.
--> Doesn’t/wont understand the concept of low-rider trousers - wears all leg garments pulled up to the waist.
--> Carries a pocket-watch on a chain.

Personality unattractiveness of Bendeguz
Hardline political views:
The subject of this analysis has many psychological aspects which he deems to be unattractive to the opposite sex. The first we shall look at is his hardline political views. In holds himself to be a Fascist. Though he is not one in the most traditional sense it is undeniably true that in the majority of values he holds true. This is reflected in his day to day life, as he will support and remain obedient to certified authority and will not stand up for ’rights’ in such a situation but instead remain subservient, especially if the certified authority is a servant of The State (Government forces in the form of officials, police officers, military personnel, etc.). The subject believes that rules exist for reasons and should not be broken, and looks down on those who break the laws of The State. This state of mind comes into an especially fiery personification after attending what he calls “alcohol and narcotic bordellos”, more commonly known as the teenage house party. Finally our subject remains obedient to his parents and has never done anything more than raise his voice to them, feeling great shame afterwards.
This support of the concept of authority and being against teenage rebelliousness alienates our subject from his social peers in his opinion. Bendeguz is of the opinion that such behaviour is a counter to the norm expected of youths by youths. He states that under XXX year-old population has the highest proportion of protestors, or those who maintain paradigms against the ‘establishment’. As such, Bendeguz sees the situation as being hopeless, since his views are quite firmly based and in his opinion the views of the vast majority of others are against him. Thus his outlook is that a romantic relationship with any female would be impossible since they would not be able to tolerate his political values and how they influence his life.

Unreliable emotional standing:
--> Can become sad and depressed and will show the weakness
--> Not dependable to be jolly, fun, etc. on a fairly consistence basis.

Too serious:
--> Not fun to be with and wont let himself go.
--> Doesn’t drink or consume narcotics and looks down on those who do - not useful in social situation.
--> Yet at the same time not renowned for intelligence.

Abnormal Eating Habits:
--> Still cannot stand the taste of vegetables at age 17.
--> Strongly carnivorous and will prefer meat when a available.
--> Does not shy away from sugar or fat-filled filled meals and will even eat sugar raw from the packet on occasions.
--> Is a glutton and will joyfully eat great deals of food and derives a form of pride from it.

Social Recluse:
--> Will by default remain at home
--> Does not feel comfortable at parties and will often lurk on the sidelines of the action
--> Will shy away from the company of females using the unfounded argument

Lives under a rock in the world of Teenage Popular culture:
--> Doesn’t know the name of any musical bands or songs
--> Hasn’t been to any concerts of popular music
--> Doesn’t have M.S.N.
--> Doesn’t have any teenage garments (mentioned above)

Outdated views regarding women:
--> Is extensively polite and respectful to women
--> alienates them by not treating them as ‘normal’ people, but instead working more along the Victorian concept of placing the woman on the pedestal.
--> Bendeguz is prude and alienates himself from opposite sex through his open discomfort regarding sexuality and nudity, concepts which are socially open topics in contemporary youth society.

Has no experience with relationships and does not know what to do:
--> Reoccurring theme of being 17 and not even having held a woman’s hand in a romantic manner even though having desired it. If such an action - which is held without any serious regard by female contemporaries - causes concern to such a level than how could he manage anything more?
--> According to J. Sauers The Sex Lives of Australian Teenagers 97% of females and 93% of males have had some form of sexual experience (ranging from a passionate kiss to more lewd activities) or other before turning 17. He perceives that his inexperience is a negative factor, as he believes that 97% of females would be disappointed or look down on him as an amateur not to waste time on if he made any attempts to pursue them.

Bendeguz hates himself for being attracted to women:
--> Sees himself as a person who should be a shining torch of morality, and therefore desiring pleasures of the heart is wrong.
--> Believes that by being attracted to women he is insulting them, for to be victim of admiration for such a lowly and unlovable fiend as Bendeguz is an unenviable fate.


Psychological problems of Bendeguz:
Bendeguz places great importance in his psychological appearance:
--> Desires to be seen as a man of responsibility and reliability.
--> Desires to be seen as one who thinks to the future by buying his own car and start saving for a apartment already at age 17. Does not believe that such things are important to women of his age group and would be ridiculed for being so.

Possesses extensive self hatred:
--> One cannot be loved by others if one cannot love themselves.
--> Isolates himself from others = nobody likes a whinger

Is ashamed of possessing romantic thoughts and desires:
--> “One should not send an umbrella salesman to the Sahara.” - Bendeguz holds belief that he will never have a romantic relationship so will only deceive and disappoint himself by yearning/thing about things that he shall never have.
--> Condemns them to be “Thought Crimes” and tries to cleanse consciousness by firmly tapping on head whilst repeating “Exterminate Thought Crimes” until said thoughts leave and/or are replaced by other thoughts deemed ‘appropriate’.
--> Fears that if he allows such thoughts to run rampant they will only make him sick with desire and make him either (a) become more depressed, or (b) something that would damage his psychological appearance.
In belief that any clumsy attempt at making any approaches towards a person to whom he is attracted to would be seen as offensive, and would humiliate both the victim and Bendegúz .

Believe its ‘Too Late’:
--> Is firm in the belief that it is too late for him to ever learn anything and has wasted the age which is meant for experimentation and for learning the ‘rules’ of courtship.
--> According to J. Sauers The Sex Lives of Australian Teenagers 63% of Males and 48% of Females have had Sexual intercourse by age 17. Therefore Bendeguz believes that he has no chance of making a woman happy an would only become a laughing stock and loose dignity.

Is firm in the belief that he is destined to forever remain a celibate-bachelor:
--> Possibly another method of making himself an individual - attention seeking?
--> Possibly a means to not ruin his chances? In the past when Bendeguz decided that he liked a female, he would become nervous, anxious and be unable to act relaxed or normally in their presence. He would thus make a fool of himself and of course in typical faction get nowhere and not do anything. Possibly this system has been invented by the subconscious to make sure that he behaves confidently and naturally in the company of women?
--> Most likely a form of cowardice excusing him from the difficult trial of perusing a relationship. Avoiding possibility of rejection.

Finds the possibility of a member of the opposite sex being interested in him impossible:
--> If such actins where to occur he would remain oblivious and it would pass him by, or he would dismiss such actions as friendliness or the natural state of being for the other person.
--> Believes that therefore any attempt to seek the romantic attentions of a member of the opposite sex to be a hopeless pursuit so does not make an attempt at all.

Has strong moral beliefs on age difference between couples:
--> Sees an age differences greater than 2 years as immoral amongst others and as paedophilia for himself.
--> According to www.boredofstudies.com.au survey of 268 votes (Circa 26 of May 2007) that 32.46% only minded more than a years age difference whilst 62.96% didn’t mind or preferred older/younger persons. Therefore Bendeguz alienates himself effectively from 95.52% of prospective relationships.
--> Is blind to any potential romantic interest from a person of younger age.

Wants to believe he is doomed to eternal romantic loneliness:
--> Bendeguz is willing to unashamedly create a whole list of reasons why he would be unattractive to the opposite sex in many areas
--> Confirms image of being pathetic and self pitiful in the eyes of females. Reinforces it in consciousness.
--> Further convinces himself of unviability of romantic relationship for himself and therefore further sabotages any attempts at showing romantic interest in a female before they are even made, if made at all.

There was also a tiny forced bit on how Bendeguz might possibly be attractive, but I shall not include it as it is strained and unnecessary. This is simply Logical Self Hate/Pity.

 

[jumb]

Are you seriously talking about yourself in 3rd person?

 

[Bendeguz]

Are you seriously talking about yourself in 3rd person?

Yes. The whole thing gives less of an air of pomposity and more of an air of professionalism. I step outside of my shoes and look at Bendegúz in a detached manner as possible, and using the IIIrd person helps.

 

[lengy]

And I thought I was bad. =\ Troll.

 

[Pace_T]

im surprised he put in so much effort to write something that long

 

[Malazn Pleasure]

More long boring stupid posts like that will guarantee he will be marrying his right hand.

 

[Boo Quah]

...

You know, most of the things you listed just amount to being childish or immature once you strip away all the extra words.

You'll grow out of it in a few years' time.

 

[vanush]

More long boring stupid posts like that will guarantee he will be marrying his right hand.

Fuck you cunt, that's exactly his point.

Tool.

 

[The_highwayman]

i really hate Bendeguz.

 

[Team 1A]

So you don't like getting near women due to the fear for being turned down and possible loss of dignity?

Hmmm, take a chance. Good Luck brother.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

hay LA di ies

 

[Bendeguz]

More long boring stupid posts like that will guarantee he will be marrying his right hand

A crude way of putting it, but metaphorically you are correct, as my friend Vanush kindly pointed out. This is my whole point: I am doomed to eternal romantic loneliness, but I have accepted this and am moving on with my life. It could be a whole lot worse, all things considered.

You know, most of the things you listed just amount to being childish or immature once you strip away all the extra words.

Ahh, you see, there is the problem. I am too mature and serious. I am not fun, wah wah wah, etc. Its all in the analysis.

Hmmm, take a chance. Good Luck brother.

I wish I could. But this is the hand that I deal for myself, and knowing myself, I shall continue dealing this same old sob story for the remainder of my days instead of pulling together my guts and taking a risk at humiliation and loss of dignity. I will not change, just continue to slink around the edges, watch others love and be loved, and waste every possible opportunity even if offered on a silver plater. I have accepted my fate, as unpleasant as it is.

i really hate Bendeguz.

That makes two of us. But trust me, you have nothing on the loathing that I poses for my own pestilent skin.

 

[Boo Quah]

Ahh, you see, there is the problem. I am too mature and serious. I am not fun, wah wah wah, etc. Its all in the analysis.

lol no

ask anyone who knows a bit of psychology

within 2 years you'll be laughing at what you're writing here

 

[Bendeguz]

What do you think two years will change? I have remained the same for IV years now, so I have to confess I have difficulty believing you.

But otherwise I sincerely hope you are right, but in the meantime, I continue in emotional agony haphazardly suppressed.

 

[Casmira]

i couldnt understand half of that my english is poor

 

[Bendeguz]

Good evening all.

I am Bendegúz, hear me moan.

I have just returned from a school friend’s XVIIIth, and boy do I feel bad. I had a really bad time. There is the usual list, but I think I will include only those that are relevant to this thread. I realised how repulsive I am: I mean I have known that I have many bad points but aside from the romantic side of the picture, I have always seen myself as a gentleman and an overall nice chap. But tonight, I saw that I was psychologically retarded. I (as I mentioned before) have never so much as held a girls hand in a romantic scenario, so therefore this has escalated to such that I consciously perceive any physical contact with a heightened sense of anxiety. I saw girls sitting in the laps of other males, giving hugs, dancing together, sitting together in the spa, etc. All I could think was “Nobody does that to Bendegúz.”.

I then proceeded to grab a two litre bottle of coke, a plastic cup and myself, and for nearly an hour wandered about the asphalt wasteland of Epping at Xp.m. slowly drinking and contemplating my situation. I imagine I must have been a strange sight, wearing a suit, holding a bottle and cup (‘daintily’, I might add) and being completely devoid of shoes and socks, all the whilst it was raining gently around me and the ground was freezing cold. During my wandering I came to the conclusion that the reason I placed myself in self-imposed exile was because that although I felt pretty miserable all alone in the cold night, it was much better than hanging around the outskirts of the party. Being there and knowing myself for being the outsider I am was like plunging a bayonet into my soul and twisting it.

But than who do I have to blame? Myself, and only myself. I alienate myself, I make myself unapproachable and hideous on the inside. But do I want to change? Do I want to really change? No…

So is there anybody out there who has felt like a white elephant before too? Let me hear the tales of the lonely and out of place.